I been dating this girl for a little over a year! Since the beginning of the relationship she was always insecure about her looks . Body . Personality . Everything
She has BPD and fear of abandonment . She was even suicidal before .
She always thinks I’m cheating or I’m gonna leave anyway so lately she been pushing me to leave literally all the time ! I keep telling her if she wants to end this relationship then why don’t she just leave herself??! But she can’t . I don’t know how that works
Any advice pls?
5 comments
This is very likely her bpd that keeps pushing you to leave her. It’s tied into low feelings of self worth and her mind constantly trying to “prove her right.” Quite honestly, without her getting her bpd and other issues under control, the best thing you can do is reassure her and give her examples where you stayed when she
Thought you’d go. Keep reinforcing to her that you are here for her.
Ultimately though, she needs therapy and likely meds.
Somebody like that who has so many insecurities and body issues and abandonment issues, only time and therapy can help with that. It won’t be some quick flip of the switch where she is magically better. If you do love her and are willing to put in the time and emotional turmoil that comes with it then stick it out but you just telling her you aren’t cheating, even if there is proof, will never change her mind. My advice is get out before things turn ugly and with BPD and paranoia, doesn’t seem to be too far off
She’s not in a place mentally to be dating anyone. She needs to stay single while she gets the help she needs.
If she’s actively trying to help and change herself then stay. If not then let her heal by herself
Are you sure you want to further invest in a girl with BPD (borderline personality disorder)? You might want to rethink that. This is a thing that does not just go away or is cured. It just gets better and worse over time.