24, recently single. I’m trying to be more active sexually, but I’m terrified at the thought of STDs. To the point where I almost can’t enjoy sex because I’m constant thinking about what’s been touched and where.
I guess I’m asking if I have reason to be worried? Ik there’s risk of transmission with any sexual contact, but just curious if it’s enough of a risk to justify never engaging. I’m a clean guy, shower before/after, condoms always. I would like to do more oral-genital/oral-anal foreplay with my hookups, but just insanely worried about getting herpes transfer or something. Even just thigh to thigh contact stresses me out. Tbh just wanna get throated without constantly wondering if it’s worth it, yenno?
Anyway, just curious if I’m being overly cautious or if this is an appropriate amount of safety.
1 comment
Being *concerned* about these things = normal.
Being “*terrified*” by them = not normal.
Terror is another way of saying “a high level of anxiety” and when we’re feeling especially anxious, it can distort our perception of things. To someone terrified of drowning, a kiddie pool can appear to be a danger or if someone is terrified of flying, showing them statistics of the safety of air travel won’t change their mind. The terror interferes with our ability to think *rationally*.
In some cases, anxiety fades with time and experience — when we realize that the things that scare us aren’t that scary once we try them, it can help alleviate our fears around them — but in other cases, you may need some professional intervention (therapy or medication) to break the cycle of anxiety.
I can’t quite tell where you’re at but using phrases like “insanely worried” suggests that your anxiety may be extreme enough to warrant at least an initial consultation with a therapist.
I’m not going to tell you “get over it” because that advice is brainless. Anxiety is some real shit and if we could control it easily, no one would suffer from it.