I’ve never had any close friends or romantic relationships. Haven’t even had my first kiss to mention, it’s pathetic and it’s my faults ,
it’s mostly because I shut myself out, whenever I am in a group of people i feel scribbled out.
I feel even worse now knowing I’m about to turn 21 and I still haven’t had sex. I know it’s pathetic to think like this. Im at uni so there’s no excuse for me. its been really depressing for me and it’s lonely. I thought it’d get better at uni
Im thinking of just loosing it through hookup but I’m scared on people I know finding me through tinder or something. And I’m scared of someone seeing me naked.
but i wanna loose it. I don’t like the stigma attached to it: when you tell people ur a virgin and they start getting perverted , or asking really personal and gross questions , or treating you like a charity case.
I don’t want a relationship or anything emotional. I don’t think I’d even want to see the person again. I just wanna get it overdone with. With a hookup or something of the sort. I need advice. I don’t even know if this is a smart thing to do
9 comments
That’s rough buddy.
I think that it is best to be intimate and do it on your first time when you’re ready and not because you feel like you’re just pressured to do it. I won’t lie, I have not done it but I have a bf. He’s been understanding towards me and doesn’t want us to do it until I am ready. Don’t let it bother you because you’re not less of a person just because you have no experience. I’m turning 26 btw.
Let me tell you something: losing your virginity is a milestone, but whether you lose it at 18 or 28 doesn’t mean anything. I lost my virginity when I was 20, and I didn’t feel any different than when I was 19 and still a virgin. My first time wasn’t through a hookup. It was with a girl who I cared about and I was in a relationship with at the time and it was miles better than any hookups I have had since then. To each their own, but if I were you, I would try to find a genuine connection with someone who you care about. You don’t have to be in a relationship per se, but doing the deed with someone you have feelings for and genuinely care about makes it much more meaningful. I think this issue may go deeper than a lack of sexual activity. College is a time when you have the resources to figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life. It’s also a time when many other people around you are desperate for connections and friends/lovers. I would recommend putting yourself out there more, and joining clubs/extracurricular organizations. I am deeply introverted myself so it was very difficult for me, but doing it made my life in college so far so much better than what it used to be when I was holed up in my room for 12 hours a day studying. Sex for me was never a priority. It was a nice little treat every once in a while. But a lack of sex or an abundance of sex should not have any bearing whatsoever on your perception of self-worth.
No worries bud, everyone’s sexual journey is different. But I’d recommend against a random hook up to get rid of your virginity. You might regret it, you might not, but sex always feels much better with someone you genuinely have feelings for.
If you wanna do it anyways, go ahead. At least do it with someone that can make you genuinely laugh if you’re not gonna do it with a romantic partner.
Don’t pressure yourself.
theres a long list of people who felt the exact same way as you and decided to lose it to a hookup
do with that info what you will
It will come when time is right. Don’t presure yourself about it.
It’s normal to be a virgin in your early 20s. It doesn’t make you broken or damaged, it just means you haven’t found someone you’re comfortable enough to explore with yet. That’s all fine.
Because it’s bothering you this much, I’d advise against a one-night-stand type of deal. Someone you feel safe and comfortable with is going to make for a much less daunting experience.
Life isn’t a race. No one fucking cares when you have sex. Do it when you’re ready