Tldr; I met a girl who was initially showing very high interest, but she became more distant and quiet because of work (understandably so). Will she come back and just as if not more attracted if I give her space.
I (30M) met a girl (27) on a dating app recently. For the first week, the communication was fantastic. Her interest was very high and we met, had a great first date. I just felt like we were on the same wave length about everything and it was reciprocated.
Then she invited me round to hers for our next date, and started to get increasingly flirtatious and sexual.
However, that’s when her interest started dropping. I’ll admit I freaked out a little. She had to cancel that date because of work. She runs her own design business which places great demands on her time. She often sleeps in the office of her warehouse!
However, she invited me round her apartment. We were intimate and I could tell her interest was still high for me. This is in spite of her becoming distant. All the signs were there. We had a great evening, and I spent the night there.
I phoned her last night at about 5.30pm, she picked up straight away, and she seemed absolutely exhausted. This was at 6pm and she was taking a nap. That’s how exhausted she is. I felt rotten and didn’t realise this. I asked her out but she said she needs time to herself this weekend, though we could try next week and go out for my birthday. I said that I understand that I’m not a priority and that although I want to see her I don’t want to put pressure on her.
So that’s it really. I may see her next week. I probably won’t. She definitely had high interest in me at the beginning and still shows some signs despite how busy she is. I certainly want to see her again but think the best thing to do is to back off now for a while, until she reaches out to me. No initiating contact from me. That may never happen though. I want to show that I can be patient and give her space she needs.
4 comments
Seeing the title my instinct was to answer “no” but reading your post she does sound like she might be a genuine workaholic rather than disinterested in you. Is that somebody you could tolerate being with? Genuine question.
It’s a positive sign that she talked about doing something for your birthday.
I’d say go with the flow, but don’t expect anything to come of this. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Say this to her,
“I know things have been very busy for you at work and I respect that. When you need someone to take your mind off of work, to make you smile, and show you a good time give me call.”
And then you float the fuck off and leave it alone. You met her off a dating app you know nothing about her, she could just be looking for sex and someone may have beaten you to the punch.
I’ll give you a story:
There was a girl I was dating that had 2 other roommates. One of her roommates had a different guy over every single night, so I asked the girl I was dating about that. She told me that she literally texts a bunch of guys all at once and whoever gets back to her first comes through.
So yeah this might not be the case but I’m letting you know that there are things about her you don’t even know yet
Sounds like she just wants something relatively casual for now, dude. Which means things like phone calls wouldn’t necessarily even be in my repertoire. Also, you seem to be a bit too apologetic about things overall. Banish lines like this from your vocabulary: “I understand that I’m not a priority and that although I want to see her I don’t want to put pressure on her.” When you act like her time is sacred and your time is not equally valuable, don’t be surprised when that becomes the reality. As for your birthday, that time should be spent with friends, family and people you’ve known far longer than this woman. If she reemerges, cool. Maybe she can come with. But if not, oh well, it’s your birthday anyway and you should be having a blast regardless.
Well. Interesting development. She messaged me about 2 hours ago. We’re going out on Saturday now. She insisted on taking me somewhere for my birthday, which is appreciated..