Men in healthy, committed relationships, what’s the biggest difference with your partner that you’re willing to accept?

6 comments

1. This may sound weird but… Nothing at all.

   The only changes that i have “had” to make are being actually sensible with finances and eating crisps (chips if you are american) from a bowl at my ‘Puter desk. No biggie and actual positive stuff.

   Everything is a total win-win for me and nothing feels like something that I’d have to “accept”

2. We share virtually no similar hobbies/interest.

   Though, I suppose this doesn’t grind my gears.

3. She’s religious. I’m not.

   It made a little tension when we were first dating but it got easier pretty quick.

4. Well the only thing I see in this category is: Difference in perception.

   From my experience (not only with my partner but with other women as well) men and women perceive the same things but different.

   That can be gear grinding (Just imagine trying to talk about a blue cup right in front of your very eyes but the person next to you just can’t see it for the love of everything) but it’s a difference that you just have to content with. In my view at least.

5. She won’t let me get the pet I really want.

   She’s got all these excuses, too: “It’s too big”, “It’s costly to feed”, “it’s a half-ton armor-plated prehistorical killing machine with the jaw strength of a T. rex and has been eating humans since we had fur and tails”, and “It’ll need a lot of cage cleaning.” Just such little details…

6. If she came home and decided that she found Jesus, or a podcast convinced her to go to the other end of the political spectrum, or if she came home one day and announced anything like, “I quit my job because I’m going to realize my lifelong ambition of being an influencer or sex worker.” Then I’d probably pack up my things and leave. Change is an important part of the human experience. A breakdown is not. Or if they were just like, “hey by the way I’m just going to stop taking care of myself.” That wouldn’t be cool either.

   On the other hand if they said, “I quit that job I hate and now I’m going to volunteer for a cause that I care deeply about, or do a job that makes less money but makes me happy ” then I could work with that. Also I guess finding religion in itself isn’t a deal breaker, but if they join a cult or become an extremist then that is. Or id even be fine with them finding a new hobby that they enjoy, even if it takes up more of their time (like ultra endurance sports). As long as they’re happy and haven’t gone insane and are making decisions that benefit their overall well-being then I’m fine with it.