Women of Reddit, what are your thoughts on someone using the word “date” when asking you out vs. not using it?

26 comments

1. I mean, idc. Use either word.

2. Why would there be a problem?

3. Just make it clear what it is

4. If we’re already friends and they’re trying to take things in a more romantic direction, I really prefer they make that clear by using the word “date” when inviting me out. For someone I met on a dating site or something, it’s less important. Edit: Saying something like “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?”, that’s too forward in my opinion.

5. People shy away from using definitive phrases or terms as it sometimes feels scary to do when you’re not comfortable with someone. There’s a reason it’s easy for married couples to say they are having a date night versus those casually dating. The word carries expectations too so it may be off-putting to those not wanting pressure.

   I think its perfectly fine to say “let’s go out together” or let’s hang-out etc they can be as nice as any other date. It’s what you do and how you do it that makes the difference.

6. If you want me to know it’s a date, use the word date. There’s no need for the ambiguity unless you are looking for plausible deniability for some reason.

7. Usually it’s a shyness thing I can generally tell if they mean it romantically or not.

8. As in them saying ” could I take you out on a date?”

   I don’t see why anyone would have a problem with that. Its making intentions clear, if that’s too forward, how do you converse daily?

9. Idc. Not everything needs to spelled out in literal words, their intentions would be obvious anyway.

10. Doesn’t matter either way.

11. I personally have a hard time understanding subtle social cues, so the word “date” would make it easier for me. Asking to just “hang out” would stress me out, because I wouldnt know what that means to you. If people were clear in their intentions from the beginning, it would save people a lot of strife.

12. I have ADHD so this may be different than neurotypical women, but if you asked me to go out with you I would probably assume it meant to hang out, but if you asked me to go on a date with you I would know what you meant. I like bluntness and people being straightforward. I don’t like miscommunication because that causes more issues.

13. I once went to a „date“ without knowing because the other person didn’t call it date. He thought we were on a date and I didn’t. It was embarrassing especially since it was my good friend’s boss and I’m in a relationship.
    Please just call a date a date 😀

14. I’m lesbian and clueless, so unless you explicitly say the word date I’m gonna assume you’re trying to be my friend.

15. Say date. If you say it’s a date, then I know it’s a date. If you say “hang out” or something like that I am going to assume we are chilling as friends.

16. I prefer it. It’s more clear.

17. I’m fine with it. It makes the intentions clear.

    One time when I was in uni there was a guy I was friends with/working on a project with and he asked if i wanted to meet after class to work on the project. In my mind it was school related/as friends. I later found out that he thought it was a date. The whole thing was extremely awkward and I could have been avoided if he was clear about what he was actually asking. I never would have said yes if I knew it was a date because he wasn’t my type.

18. At some point I’d need us to define our relationship to make sure we’re on the same page and eventually I would like to be asked on a “date”, but if initially they were saying “hang out” or a more casual wording-it wouldn’t necessarily bother me.

19. [removed]

20. Date gives a sense of formality, that they have a goal of getting to know me to develop a romantic relationship. If they say they “wanna hang out” or “meet up” then that leaves their intentions unclear and I’ll treat it more like a friendship

21. Yeah. It gets to the fucking point. I don’t have the patience for someone who dances around topics.

22. It’s all the same to me

23. I think it’s a good idea to use it. I asked a guy if he wanted to go out once and he said ‘on a date?’ I was shook. I was trying not to use the word because I was embarrassed but it eliminated the confusion.

24. When my boyfriend (friend, at the time) asked me out, he didn’t call it a date until a week before and it drove me crazy.

    My friends all told me it was a date, but I didn’t want to assume his intentions until he said.

    So, I prefer it just be called a date, so we both know that the situation is getting to know you with the intentions of romantic interests.

25. I love it, I like it if someone is straight forward with me and shows me what his intentions are since the beginning.

26. It’s eliminating ambiguity.