[25M] got engaged to [24F] but I’m finding others more attractive

9 comments

1. Yes, it’s normal to feel like this when you’ve volunteered for something that completely takes away your agency and you realize that you’d rather marry for love over convenience.

2. Yeah I mean this is why the rest of the world does a thing called “dating” before committing to someone for the rest of your life.

3. Can you talk to your parents or other family members about your doubts?

4. It is normal when you have to make an important choice to doubt it and to compare it to the other options. Unfortunately, your fear about compatibility is a valid concern, since it’s extremely hard to determine compatibility without knowing someone very well, and ideally living with them for at least a year. It looks like your culture does not provide a way to determine compatibility before marriage.

5. What about personalities ?

6. you need to ask this in an Indian sub, this sub skews US/western Europe which has very different dating values than you’re used to. The obvious answer to us is, don’t marry her, but that might be useless in your culture. So you need to ask people familiar with your culture

7. Reddit is not going to be able to give you any useful advice about arranged marriages.

8. While it is important to be attracted to your prospective partner, physical appearance is not the most important thing in a relationship. If the only things you are concerned with is how beautiful someone is, then it’s unlikely to be a happy relationship because appearances change. What matters more is how you get along with someone, if you like their personality, and if you share core values.

9. I’m curious how you figured out whether or not you and she don’t have a lot in common?

   Was there a reason you picked her over the others?