I know this varies a lot based on Age / Sex / recent & past experiences, but I think it’d be really interesting to hear men and women’s genuine (though still respectful / reasonable to expect from another person) wants from the first few dates with someone new.
Things like what you want to know, what signals you want, type of date, compliments, intimacy, who pays for what, etc.
Interested in seeing a sample of what the opposite sexes expectations are so I can better calibrate my own!
3 comments
42M.
I plan dates and pay for dates. I’m looking for fun and interesting conversation. I don’t want an interview. I like to be challenged in my thoughts and situation – who I am. I love it when a woman talks a lot cause it just tells me she’s interested in me (usually). Dinner, a walk and/or something fun, and maybe drinks or just making out at the end. Definitely like to kiss on the first date if I’m interested in her.
I (26M), once I feel a base level of attraction & interest to someone, really want to get to know them as a person in a personal but slow way. A phone call one evening to get a temperature check before we go on a real date, then maybe a simple morning/lunchtime date. I don’t mind paying for drinks and things, but I really like when a girl is interested enough to put her own money down too. We find common interests & learn more about what the other person wants out of dating.
From there I think it’s about slowly integrating that person into my life, and growing a friendship (in the context that we’re dating & genuinely attracted to each other.)
Maybe the next few dates are going back and forth, taking turns showing the other person something we’re interested in that they’ve expressed curiosity about, maybe it’s just more talking, but in the casual way you’d find some time to see a friend after work during the week or on the weekend.
I’d enjoy some moderate flirting / kissing / holding when it feels right, but us both being genuinely comfortable there while we figure out what the relationship is first is ideal 👌
Mutual attraction, and calm, kind conversation that is intellectual, funny, and light. Some deep conversation is good too, and I don’t mind some bits of serious in there. Someone that is excited to inquire about me, but also excited to tell their story.
I want it to flow like I’m reminiscing with a long lost friend and like we’re catching up after a long period of time. I’m not looking for a person with a perfect answer to every question or a swirling fairytale romance novel.
I’m looking for something real and a good foundation to build something promising on. A great end of the night for me, is either a hug or a kiss, and that feeling of, “That was a lot of fun, I feel like I’d really like to do something like that again.”