I (21f) was starting to really get to know/like this guy(22m). We were on a college charity committee together and I had started to get to know him and I had started to notice after a little while that he tended to gravitate toward me/be awkward around me/etc. Now this is a group of college students so we are very tight knit and go to parties together, have socials, etc etc. and even though the actual cause is over for the year, we will and have continued to hang out.
Back to the guy. We had met up for a night at a local bar and he had bought me a few drinks. We ended up talking for a little bit and he even revealed to me that he’s on the spectrum (relevant later) which is something he hasn’t told anyone else in the committee. We have a ton in common and I thought we were vibing pretty well. I ended up going back to his place and we talk for a little bit before we start fucking. Turns out, he is a virgin so I took his virginity. 🙂 In fact, it wasn’t the best sex ever due to that but I still had a fun time because he was nervous and it was cute and I liked being with him.
We ended up going to bed and cuddling for majority of the night before he gets up to use the bathroom and then lays down on his couch??? Turns out, when I convinced him to lay back in bed, he was stuck between the two mattresses all night because his “bed” is two twins pushed together. I could easily see how this could be a funny misunderstanding.
However, when it is time to wake up, he immediately gets up and starts getting ready. He made us breakfast which was kind of sweet. Later on, I asked if he wanted to kiss and he told me no because he had “too many things to do that day”. Then, he basically kicked me out but said that he wasn’t trying to be rude, he’s just busy.
It’s been two days from then and We have only texted once and I initiated it to see if he was out because it was a big party day at our college and I was in between plans. A lot of this situation makes me feel that it wasn’t a one night stand, but the aftermath and no contact makes me feel like it was. I don’t know how to feel. Would you guys text him again if you were me? What would you do??
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>Later on, I asked if he wanted to kiss and he told me no because he had “too many things to do that day”.
Wut lol How long was he thinking you’d kiss?
> A lot of this situation makes me feel that it wasn’t a one night stand, but the aftermath and no contact makes me feel like it was. I don’t know how to feel. Would you guys text him again if you were me? What would you do??
Yeah its almost like he’s trying to quickly move on from what happened. I mean, times are different now….but losing your virginity is a pretty prominent moment for people and it often results in feelings for that person you lost it to. Maybe that isnt the case anymore lol
Either way, this probably requires a conversation.
You say he is on the spectrum. I only know 3 men on the spectrum but they can act a little different then people who are not. The most important thing is to be clear with what you want and what you mean.
I mean, you know him and the situation best. The no kiss and reasoning behind it is kind of odd, but as you said, he is on the spectrum. And he was a virgin. He might just be processing everything. I’d say give it a few days and if you don’t hear from him, trying reaching out again. At least you’ll know, but I think your feeling of it not being a one night stand is right. It sound sounds like he likes you
Maybe he’s processing his feelings or shy? You did say he’s on the spectrum and had sex for the first time. For most people that’s kind of a lot to think about, potentially more so for someone on the spectrum.
Yeah he played u. Sorry it sucks.
Make him contact you and if he does and all he wants is sex, then you would know he’s the wrong guy