How do you feel about controlling friends that don’t want you talking to other friends?

24 comments

1. I wouldn’t choose to keep those people as friends.

2. They’re not friends.

3. They would no longer be my friend and they probably weren‘t a good friend to begin with.

4. Throw the whole “friend” away.

5. Feels like they wouldn’t be friends.

6. I dont deal with people like that.

7. I’ve had this happen once – I unceremoniously ended the friendship.

8. You cant tell others who they should and Shouldnt hang out with even if you dont like them even friends too

9. Lol what.

   I’ve always wound up having friends who despise each other. Always. First noticed it in like second grade, lol. Anyway, what a valid friend is not going to do is triangulate you. Don’t tolerate that shit.

10. depends why? i didn’t like one of my friends being friends with a guy (who definitely left me with some deep emotional trauma) , but i ended up ending the friendship bc i didn’t want to be controlling who she spent her time with

11. They can kick rocks. If they have the audacity to think they can dictate what the fuck I can do, their delusional ass will get told off and discarded.

12. I’m sorry, what? Yeah, that’s not a friend.

13. Uhhhh what?

    No. No no no.

    NO ONE and I mean absolutely no one tells you AN ADULT who you can socialize with. Not a parent, significant other, friend, sibling nothing. The only way that would ever be relevant is if a child was telling you they don’t feel comfortable around someone.

    Throw the whole “friend” out and tell them to get over themselves.

14. It’s never ok to dictate to people who they can and cannot talk to HOWEVER a scenario I’ve personally been in come to mind…

    A friend in a group of ours hooked up with the boyfriend of another girl in the group. The girlfriend broke up with the immediately and while the girlfriend never explicitly told us not to talk to the other friend anymore…it was pretty clear and understandable that she couldn’t be friends/hanging around the girl that slept with her boyfriend anymore. Many in the group felt “I’m not going to stop being friends with the other girl over this” and by default the girlfriend was the one they pushed away as a result…. Whereas I looked at like like a judgment call…If she could sleep with her friends boyfriend what’s to stop her from doing it to any of the rest of us?

15. [removed]

16. They probably gossip about you behind your back and don’t want it getting back to you

17. They want the box but settling for being friends and it’s eating them up inside

18. Wow! We would not be friends. That’s unacceptable behavior.

19. Reverse uno card and stop talking to them instead.

20. That shows a lack of respect for your personal agency and boundaries. The mere act of attempting to control is an infringement and I’d never tolerate it.

    There is only one exception- if the other friend/s pose a physical threat to you.

21. You can’t tell people what to do. That said if someone consistently chooses to be friends with someone who puts you down / talks shit about you, there is no obligation to remain friends.

22. Toxic! They’re not really a friend, if they don’t want you to be happy.

23. Unless they have a damn good reason (e.g. they don’t want me to continue being friends with someone who is abusing me), that would be a MASSIVE red flag and a sign that that person needs to go to therapy before they’ll be ready to have healthy friendships.

24. It’s fucking weird. I met a good friend’s bestie who lives far away and this woman was so cold to me and even made a snarky comment at one point. Now, when she’s in town I don’t try to get together and just say let’s catch up when she leaves so you guys can get some quality time in. I have zero interest in vying for a friend’s attention in middle age and when out in that position, I’ll just ghost them all. Absolute silliness.