I have a notion that many men, including myself, feel under pressure to make things more sexual when dating in order to avoid getting texts saying, “I think you’re a terrific person, but I’m just not feeling it.”
Nothing causes more anxiety than to be in the middle of a third date without having pecked yet, much like when I’m heading out on a second date, I’m thinking “I better kiss her goodbye before the conclusion of this night, or else we’ll be entering friendzone territory.”
It’s less that I’m some weird horn dog and more that I feel like I need to act now before her interest wanes with time.
2 comments
You just need to be clear about your intentions. If you are clear on what you want and stay that way, there will be no friendzone. If she just wants to be friends and you don’t want that.. then say „im sorry, but this is not what im looking for. I wish you the best“. And move on. But be clear.
As for third date and no sex yet. I don’t think its too much of an issue. Some people like to go slow. But if you want to be more intimate, then something should happen. After a date then, wait for a good moment and then just say:“Hey.. want to go over to my or your place?“. It really doesn’t have to be so complicated.
You don’t really sound like a horndog to me. More like someone that wants intimacy with a partner. There is nothing wrong with that. Try to be less pressured though. Try to see it as something fun. You get to learn about someone. Maybe you become physical, maybe not. But stay true and honest about what you want and respect what the potential partner wants.
You don’t necessarily need to kiss her on the first date to make your intentions clear. Hugging your date hello and goodbye, subtle touches like touching her arm all sets the frame that there’s a romantic interest and it’s not just platonic. Don’t underestimate holding eye contact either.
It’s the sexual undertone, the flirtatious vibe and the intimacy in the interaction that will dictate how much she enjoys your company. Sexual chemistry is more of energy felt between a man and woman rather than an outward display, and it often occurs on a subtle and subconscious level, so even just telling your date she looks amazing when she arrives will set that tone.