To explain my situation, I’ve skipped highschool almost entirely and all the social interactions that come with it. For years now I’ve tried to remedy that fact by forcing myself through awkward encounters as an attempt to learn.
I was 18 when I started going outside and didn’t know what to say to people. I am now 23. I’ve gone through multiple jobs, I’ve tried sales, I’ve become a regular at the gym, I’ve had a year long relationship and lived with other people, and I STILL don’t know what to say to people. I STILL am quiet when hanging out with people I’ve known for years as my mind is COMPLETELY void of any words to say whatsoever.
I’ve grown stagnant. Whereas previously there was a will to tackle social interactions, I now feel dread and a desire to escape from them as I know there is no reward beyond the discomfort.
Sorry, are rants allowed here? I just feel alone in my thoughts
2 comments
Well I WENT to highschool and as an extremely shy introvert at the time I didn’t get anything out of it, socially speaking. So you haven’t missed much, lol. I give you credit for trying and putting yourself out there.
However I’d suggest that trying to improve your social skills in the middle of where you want to do best (work, social situations etc.) is NOT the place to seek improvement. That’s like learning to play soccer at the World Cup. Not likely to get great results there, you’ll just end up more discouraged.
Transforming your social skills starts in the inner places first (your mind, your home), then you SLOWLY start to bring it other places (brief anonymous social situations) and only after you’ve gained TRUE CONFIDENCE do you bring it to your social life.
And unless your address is currently a cemetery (complete with your junkmail being forwarded there) you can ALWAYS improve.
First. Kudos on your effort and hard work. You might be burned out a little no? It’s okay to take a break. You’re only 23 and nailing conversation can take a while. I’ve been at it for years and right when I think I’ve got it, I look back on the past year and realize I improved.
When it comes down to it, you can say pretty much whatever is on your mind. You’re articulating yourself right now which means you’re not an empty vessel devoid of thought. You had a relationship and must have talked about something. You didn’t just sit in silence with the other person did you?
Usually in these cases, I recommend preloading conversational topics ahead of time. That way you’re already practiced in what to say and it’s just a matter of letting the words spill out. In my experience you can talk to anyone about anything although it helps to speak in a compelling way with emphasis on the important parts that need emphasizing.
What do you think you’d need to push through into conversation?