***tl;dr Most people on here who have difficulty talking to people, are really good at expressing themselves with the written word.***
I’ve lacked social skills all my life and got into drink and drugs young because it helped me deal with my inability to talk to people and the intense debilitating discomfort that “freeze-up” brings. But that then defined my personality, and it took me a decade to get over those habits. Amazingly I succeeded and here I am.
It’s still very difficult, if not harder as I get older (and deafer), but I’ve tried everything there is to address it, nothing really works all the time but some things do help, like learning Game, weirdly enough.
but, before I get off on a rant about learning to accept it and be who I am is the only solution I ever found and will likely be the same for any of you. I came to realise that I am like it for a reason and needed to stop beating myself up over it, or feeling like a victim and avoid investing in that.
But I also realised something that I never noticed before and I have been studying this issue 24/7 for a few decades and had therapy and tried all avenues to “fix” it. Here is what I have realised…
**Most people on here who have difficulty talking to people, are really good at expressing themselves with the written word.**
I had been told this by people before, and noticed it about myself, but never realised it’s a common thing, and probably common to all of us on here who make the claim of struggling to speak to people.
I wonder why that is. Something I will be considering about this dilemma moving forward.
1 comment
Interesting point! I was one of those back in the day (VERY shy introvert who had trouble connecting with people in my school days). I was also GREAT at the written word! In fact I wrote a HUMOR column for my highschool newspaper that people really liked. But they didn’t like ME because I was extremely reserved and couldn’t talk to people. AT ALL.
Well I want on to major in journalism and a career in public relations, and I have learned the secret to connecting with people and being extremely comfortable socially. I used to hate social situations because I was so bad at them. Now I look forward to them and enjoy them thoroughly. I’ve transformed from an introvert to an extrovert. (People suggest that that can’t be true. And yet here I am!)
I’ve learned many things along the way. The main one being, people CONNECT based on Positive Social Energy. It’s almost always a mistake to sit back and take a Wait And See approach to people accepting you. YOU get out there and accept THEM! With positive social energy.
You don’t have to be fascinating, just INTERESTED in other people and enthusiastic about: yourself, other people, Life Itself.
That makes all the difference in the world. Learn to speak with warmth and enthusiasm and you can talk to anybody.
I’m still a very good writer, btw. Here’s a link to some social skills articles I’ve written: **[CPR For Your Social Life](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/)**