Guys who fell in love and dated/married someone who you didn’t particularly find physically attractive, what was your experience like?

2 comments

1. my wife has a nice face. she has the exact same face as this woman named Jean Shrimpton–i mean, it’s the spitting image, except my wife has green eyes instead of blue. her mom was the same, but her mom was blonde.

   she’s always had kind of a weird body shape, though. and before the surgeon’s magic, she had like…almost no boobs. she barely ever wore a bra. she didn’t need one.

   never bothered me for a minute. she has a heart of gold, and that’s all that ever mattered. no matter how old she gets, that part of her never ages.

   ​

   23 years of marriage this october. absolutely zero regrets.

2. My ex wife was a little bigger than I liked when we started dating. I was ok with it because I liked her, and in pictures she had been a healthy weight just a year or so before and I thought maybe she could get back to that. Instead, she just kept putting on weight.

   A few years into our marriage I told her, as gently and lovingly as I could, that her weight was affecting my attraction for her and I needed her to take steps to get back in shape. After that she’d do fad diets, or buy exercise equipment she’d use twice, but nothing really changed. I resigned myself to the fact that I’d spend the rest of my life with a fat wife I wasn’t attracted to.

   Then, after 10 years of marriage she divorced me out of the blue. I was crushed, but it turned out to be the best thing for me. I’m now with someone who cares about her body, is committed to staying in shape, and who I’m proud to be seen with. It’s made a HUGE difference in my satisfaction and quality of life.

   Looking back, I think the core reason for my resentment and dissatisfaction was that I put effort into staying healthy and attractive for her, and it was never reciprocated. My commitment to attractiveness was a gift I gave her daily, but I never received in return. People will call me shallow now for saying I won’t be with someone who isn’t committed to staying attractive, but I’ve lived that life, and I’m not going back. If that makes me shallow, so be it.