My flatmate has been dating this girl, M, for about a month. I don’t know if they have made it official or exclusive, but they have been extremely close, M would come over every night basically.
The other day, M messaged me and asked if I knew what was up with my flatmate, since apparently they weren’t feeling well and weren’t responding to messages. I told her I didn’t know, but the next morning I noticed my flatmate had another girl over, and now this girl is coming over all the time instead of M.
M came back today, for the first time in a while and I heard my flatmate say to her that they’ve just been really busy working and haven’t had any free time (I’m inferring that they are lying to M about not having time to see her).
On the one hand, I don’t know the full story, I could be missing some details which would determine whether my flatmate is cheating or not. And if I tell M, my flatmate will find out I did it and cause trouble for me (They’re close to another one of my good friends and I don’t want them to turn them against me).
But on the other hand, M did ask for my help, which makes me feel responsible, and I know that I’d want to know what was going on in her position. Any ideas on a course of action would be appreciated, but if I tell M I want to make sure my flatmate doesn’t find out it was me.
TLDR: flatmate seems like they might be cheating, but I don’t know all the details. I want to help, but don’t want to cause unnecessary trouble. What should I do?
3 comments
I would probably ask the flatmate, explain the impression you got, and ask them for context to the whole situation.
If there is another explanation (unlikely, but possible), you can just drop it. If you really believe it, you can reassure M.
If your flatmate is indeed cheating, I would tell them to come clear to M, or otherwise you will do it. Cheating is awful, and even if they did not make it official, stringing someone along while looking for another partner is also really egoistical. M doesn’t deserve that.
This doesn’t sound like a relationship and seems like your roommate is was seeing M for while and found another girl to entertain and now M wants to know why she is not being summoned to come over no more, To me it just seems like no relationship to be considered a cheat.
In my personal opinion since you live with the guy you need to put your household relationship balance first especially if his actions do not impact you and stay out of the way and mind your business..
Instead just ask him about M and whats going on so the next time she ask you questions u will know what to say instead of being puzzled, What you do with that information is on you but remember you live with him not M and you already admitted it would cause conflict in comments but remember it is a unnecessary conflict cause its not your business what he does.
How about you take a healthy dose of mind your own business and tell these people to leave you out of their shit. There could be an incalculable number of issues here that you don’t know about.
Leave it be