So for the past week I’ve been explaining to my wife how Ive been nervous about my upcoming quarterly review with my boss. Well, today was review day and I was just notified of a “restructuring within the company” and my position was the first in line to go; effective immediately. The only problem is that my wife had to leave town two days ago to fly out of state back to her parent’s house because her dad was caught cheating on her mom. She’s gone for the week in order to be there for her mom but she is already asking me how my meeting went? Do I drop another bombshell on her today and tell her the truth or should I lie and wait until she gets back home?
23 comments
You just have to rip the band aid off, tell her and give her time to process whilst she’s away.
I don’t think lying about it for a week is the right option
You know her. We don’t. What would she want? Would she be irritated that you didn’t tell her immediately? That’s the answer. I understand wanting to not add to her stress but she must ask about your days. You can’t lie.
She’s your wife. Yeah, she has things she’s dealing with but you should be honest and fast.
Else it will seem like you were lying or something.
Start working on applications and let her know it’s going to be okay.
Bad news usually doesn’t get any better as it ages. I’d tell her right away (on the phone) but let her know you’ll make the best of the situation.
Tell the truth, it’s going to be hard for her to hear since she’s already dealing with a family crisis, but be honest with her and reassure her that you’re diving right into looking for another job.
Don’t lie to your wife. You don’t want her to spend a week thinking everything is ok and then come home to find out that you lied to her. Then you have two problems instead of just one.
I always lean towards quick honesty, but this is something I could see waiting to talk about depending on your circumstances. If your financial life is rough right now and you depend on each other in that way, then yes, I would talk about it now as surviving life trumps just about everything else. If your finances are good for the immediate future and if your wife is in a fragile emotional state, then I might wait for a better opportunity to talk about it depending on how badly I was feeling about losing the job. I know for my wife that if I was suffering greatly, she would want to know what it is no matter the circumstances.
Tell her the truth, and make sure you are looking in to other jobs as we speak and file for unemployment so she knows you have a plan for you guys and reassure her you guys are going to be ok.
Drop the bombshell. Tell her that you will use your time when she is away to dust off your resume and look for work.
She’s asking you about it which means she’s worrying about it. Don’t leave her fretting about it, tell her. At least then she knows and her mind can shift mentally from *what if* to *what next*.
1) Get yourself on unemployment.
2) Get your resumé out and get hunting for new employment.
3) Next time she calls tell her, “I got laid off. However, I’m eligible for unemployment and my first check should arrive in X days. I’ve also got my resumé updated and have an appointment with a headhunter/have sent out X resumés/have done XYZ to look for new employment.”
Tell her the bad news, but follow it up IMMEDIATELY with steps you’ve proactively taken to ameliorate the financial burden of your unemployment.
Just tell her the truth. She s going to understand, especially since you previously warned it was a possibility. If she doesn’t understand, you’ve got bigger problems than losing a job.
Tell her today. Honesty is really on her mind right now with her parent situation. Showing you can be honest with a hard thing will only strengthen your bond.
I’m sorry you got laid off. Things will come around.
I’d say “Not well, but if you need the headspace to deal with your parents until you get back I can wait to tell you until then. But if it’s going to bother you not knowing I can elaborate. Tell me what would be best for you?” Assuming you’d be ok without any support from her until she gets back.
You got laid off. Just tell her that. It sucks. Stupid company. Get the resume fired up and let it roll. But as other’s said.. do NOT hide this. No need to. It’s not like you went to work stoned / drunk and grabbed someone’s booty. You got laid off. F them. Go post angry stuff on anti-work and find the next paycheck. 🙂
Tell the truth! File for unemployment and start looking for a new job!
I’m a problem + solution guy.
Send out your resume to 3+ places.
Then break the news to her. Say, yes I’ve lost that job, but I’m already on the hunt for the next one!
Be confident, not scared. Otherwise she will be worse off than you.
Truth – first, last and always.
Truth, man. As painful as it is, just get it out there, as quickly as possible. The sooner you give her the truth, the better.
Don’t baby her or you run the risk of her thinking you don’t trust her to handle things like an adult
This is going to be a bad time for you guys but instead of asking questions to strangers you time is better spend getting a CV out immediately
5 job applications per day at a minimum, this is now your full time job. You can focus on moving to a better job later, just get any job you can right now to show your wife and yourself how serious you are
I’d drop all the bombs… in life, when it rains shit, it pours shit.
Please don’t lie to your wife. You guys are a team through thick and thin. Would you want her to lie to you about how things are going on her trip? Especially with what her mom is going through, you lying might be taken away worse than you intend.
Just say that it didn’t go well and you’ll talk when she gets home. Tell her it can wait. Use the time to do whatever needs to be done – apply for jobs, check your finances, etc