Me and my ex broke up 2 years ago, it was a mutual breakup where we both understood we were both at fault. She cheated on me and I also wasn’t the best bf to her (in terms of spending time with her).
Anyways, I was her first bf and took her virginity. When we broke up and was ready to go our separate ways, she promised me she will never interact with the guy she cheated on me with (this was important to me), and I promised her I would never take another girls virginity (this was important to her).
Fast forward, I am currently seeing a woman who I think is the one, but she is a virgin. I want to put a ring on her in the future, but I don’t know how to deal with my promise that I kept so far.
TLDR: me and my ex made promises to each other when going our separate ways, and I am now in a situation where I can’t decide if I should break it.
28 comments
If you apply math to the promises, her non eligible set has 1 person and yours has infinite. There’s a fault in the promises. Hope that helps you to go for what you want.
Those are some pretty bad promises, my dude. Once you and your ex broke up, they shouldn’t have a say on who you decide to sleep with or pop their cherry. The same will advice I would give to her. If she wanted to get with the guy she cheated on you with, then you shouldn’t have a sat in it. You’re not part of each others lives to the point you guys can dictate who you can or can’t date
If you think this girl could be the one for you, it would be quite silly to let a promise made to an ex who cheated on you get in the way of that.
You were foolish to make ANY promises to an ex. If you felt you did something wrong, sure, there’s nothing wrong with vowing not to do it again. You owe her literally nothing, though. If it makes you feel any better, she’s interacted with that guy again.
Break the promise.
It wasn’t a reasonable promise to make in the first place. It should never have been made – and you can’t be obligated to an ex for eternity.
I think you should go ahead and break it.
Screw her. She has no ownership of your life or body.
Also, cheaters are scum. After someone cheats on you, anything I have ever said to them is null and void. They broke the contract where they can make stipulations in my life by having another mans cock in her….
Did she promise not to sleep with another dude while you were together?
This promise feels very symbolic, and very young. I don’t think it’s a promise that should’ve been made in the first place, and I don’t think you should make any life decisions based on it either. I think you would regret potentially losing “the one” far more than you would regret breaking a promise to an old ex. The only thing that could complicate this is if you and your ex are still close friends, but also, there’s no reason anyone should know whether your partner is/was a virgin or not.
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You have no obligation to an ex unless it’s about children you share. You want to miss out on what could be The One for an ex?
How’s she gonna know?
Jesus Christ are you serious
Any promises you made to your ex are null and void. Plus she fucking cheated. Also, virginity doesn’t exist.
>When we broke up and was ready to go our separate ways, she promised me she will never interact with the guy she cheated on me with (this was important to me), and I promised her I would never take another girls virginity (this was important to her).
This is massively stupid. You don’t owe each other anything at this point, and you especially don’t owe anything to the person who cheated on you.
What?? She couldn’t even stay committed in your relationship. Why would you make promises after you break up? Who cares about your ex. No one! No you don’t need to keep any promises to her. She’s your ex girlfriend should be in your past. That’s a strange thing to ask of someone tbh.
It’s a dumb request made by a teenager. It was dumb to agree and it is not dumb to break it now.
What?
You’re more worried about a promise to an ex cheating girlfriend than you are in making a commitment to your new girlfriend?
I’ll say it plainly; get your head out of your ass.
You and your ex owe each other nothing. Those promises were unnecessary.
This is a weird promise to make.
Break the promise, dude
/u/Hannahs_Banana69 no closure or promises or anything it was just silence for us. Because you knew I would still overthink, because you only tell me half of the story when I know you’re hiding something I know because I know how you are and if I see a slight change in your actions I would know right away. I would not say anything but that’s when I know the relationship is taking it’s toll. Are you still dating for experience, or to fuck around and ride d
Believe it or not, jail.
If, by chance, this isn’t a creative writing excise, then yes, break this absurd promise you made with your cheating ex.
You owe your ex absolutely nothing and considering you don’t talk to her it’s not like she’s going to find out.
I mean how do you even know she kept her promise?
Answer: you don’t.
This whole thing is silly do what you want. Just make sure it’s consensual.
On the off chance this is real let’s be clear loyalty ends when the relationship ends. The idea of remaining loyal to your ex over the girl you might wife is crazy. If you want to remain loyal to your ex get back with her. That simple
The past is the past. Worry about yourself. Don’t be concerned about a minor promise you made when you were younger. Is this really going to impact you in the long run?
This is the stupidest promise ever.
Also. You didn’t TAKE anything from her and you aren’t going to TAKE anything from this woman. Virginity is a super antiquated view of sexual experience. That only ever causes huge stupid drama.
Virginity is a dated cultural concept that does not have a lot of biological value/sense to it.
How tf would your ex will find out if you take a girl’s virginity?
Secondly, and most importantly, why the fuck do you think you owe her anything?
Info- Does your current girlfriend hold a sign when she goes out that says Virgin? Honestly why are you making promises like this.