So I (28F) have been dating Chris (29M) for about 2 months, but we’ve been friends for over 10 years. He has a roommate, Shauna (28F), who he’s lived with now for about 4 months, and she has a boyfriend, David (30M), who comes over pretty much everyday-ish. Chris’s best friends are friends with Shauna, which is how they came to be roommates, they knew each other before, but weren’t close friends or anything, but I know that his relationship to his best friends mean a lot and he doesn’t want to strain that friendship, so he does his very best to be a really good roommate.
There’s been a few instances with Shauna that I’ve felt a little off about, but because we just started dating and because I’m really cool with Chris’s best friends who are friends with Shauna too, I haven’t said anything because I don’t feel like it’s my place really. Shauna and I are cool, but she kinda gets on Chris for little things in front of me and David and it makes me a little uncomfortable. She is really domineering and very passive-aggressive and I don’t mesh well with that. For example, me and Chris were having movie night, she was making food and about to leave to hang out with friends and we were gonna turn on this documentary I really wanted to see, I was saying how excited I was to finally watch it, and she goes “Please don’t watch that, I‘m about to go see it next week” like?? Put on some headphones or something? It almost feels like she feels like it’s just her place and she’s doing Chris a favor by letting him stay there, but they are legitimate roommates, both on the lease.
There was a situation that occurred this past weekend that kind of did it for me. I don’t want to be dramatic, but she straight up scolded us and I now just feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable and feeling like I really have to bite my tongue. He admitted to me that she intimidates him because he holds her to a high regard, I know this is just because of his best friend’s relationship with her and the friend group around that, but I kinda don’t care for her too much at the moment and feel like I obviously can’t say anything. But I don’t feel like she reciprocates that at all and it bothers me and it makes me feel bad for Chris. Has anyone been through anything like this?
TLDR; I’ve been dating someone for 2 months who has a really passive-aggressive roommate that I think is rude to him, but he doesn’t see it because he’s really nice and wants to be on good terms with that friend group and I’m now uncomfortable around her.