Hi everyone! Me (25M) and my girlfriend (24F) have been together for almost 8 years and we had always good, long and passionate sex. We met in highschool and spent all time together from that time to now that we are both graduated. We live not so far from each other (4 miles/ like 10 minutes driving). The thing is that in the last years we started to have sex once a week between friday or saturday because during work days we don’t meet each other. The thing that i hate the most are:
1)Having sex once a week gives me anxiety since I’m so horny thinking about her for days that when we have sex I have to slow down and edge myself lots of time. So the result is me not giving my best and felling always so full and always have to limit myself.
2)Sometimes dealing her period or busy weekend we also skip having sex, so that brings me to the point that I have to wait 2 week!! I mean that’s a lot! Who can last long after having no sex for that time span when you lay in bed with the hottest girl?!
3) I don’t get why she never text me about sex?! Or never surprise me once by coming to my place randomly! Like these things are so exciting and I don’t get how she cannot even once think about that! I mean I have always in my mind (every three days of so) the desire or idea of having sex or sexting each other. But guess what? The only times we tried sexting while we were sexting she told me stuff like :” I can’t write you much back because I’m touching myself” or just “ye, c’mon stroke yourself!”. Like that was a duty! No tempting, no photos, no sex fantasies! Nothing, simply mechanical masturbation with no sexual provoke.
4) Once I told her :”Once a week is not good, we are young and healthy and fit, why not doing it more? I really like playing in bed with you”. Well she told me:” We can have twice: Friday night and then Saturday morning”. Well I didn’t reply to her because her answer was soo dumb considering we have sex friday night very late like 1-2am and then wake up at 10am and she pretends that I would be able to have long, hard sex again the morning after, like are you kidding me?!
The result of this is that most of the time I have to relay on porn and dealing with my urges with masturbation or mental training/gym in order to overcome my love urges. Today I want to confront here because I don’t want to watch porn and masturbate when I have a freaking girl 4 miles from me and I love her so much.
Well I would like you guys to know if you can give me any suggestions or telling me if you have been in the same situation since this is becoming annoying and demotivating for me.. thanks for your time if you have come so far in the reading, hope you have a great day 🙏🏻
6 comments
Sounds like a couples/sex therapist could help you with discussing your needs and wants with each other.
Man there are so many girls wanting to bang you on a daily basis and yet you chose going through all this
Two quick questions:
1. are you both just not interested in period sex?
2. Would you two ever have phone sex?
And mind you, her answer about Friday isn’t dumb. I’ve had sex at night and then sex again in the morning. If you’re so horny for her, i feel like that could be normal for you. Like, it’s 9 hours later. And another thing: maybe she has thought about coming around for spontaneous sex. Have you asked her if that’s a fantasy? I mean, could you ask her to wear something sexy under a trench coat or something fun?
You live 10 minutes away but only see each other on weekends? Forget the sex for a minute, I would ask yourself why that is. Are your schedules really that crazy to prevent seeing each other more often?
This scenario is so typical. If you’ve decided on sharing a long term relationship, it kind of goes without saying. However, it doesn’t have to remain that way. Always remember to keep things exciting, fun and unpredictable. If you ate your favorite meal everyday, it would soon become boring!
I’m confused on how having sex once a week makes you anxious for the next time, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Also, cut back on the porn and masturbation, hurts your actual sex life A LOT.