Is it fair to assume that as a late 20s dude who’s never dated or slept with anyone that I’m just unnattractive to women?

21 comments

1. Nope. No matter how ugly a guy is there’s always an uglier woman for him.

   Either his standards are too high or he’s socially inept.

2. Could be how your approaching people or the “vibe” you’re giving off. Self confidence issues, unsure how to carry a conversation, etc. Do people in your friend group have similar issues?

3. I lost my virginity at 21 and maybe up until about nowish in my early 30s I didn’t really feel like I got attention from women. It felt like no one gave me attention for a while, that nobody wanted me, and I’m still getting over that tbh.

   Like, I’m even just starting to get used to the idea of women wanting to have sex with me, as I always thought it was something I needed to convince a woman to do, and that nobody would look at me and just wanna have sex with me. And I’m in my 30s lol. So I think you’ll start hitting a stride at some point and it starts coming if the vibe is right.

   Things can always change. I think the big thing, which is very difficult, is to get in a space where you’re comfortable with yourself, and whether that means just finding things that make you feel good/better about yourself, or making “improvements” on fitness, cooking, whatever skill it is you’re interested in, then I think that self-confidence and knowing just who you are will go a long way

4. “You miss 100% of the shot you don’t take” Michael Scott just put yourself out there you have nothing to lose since clearly you’re frustrated with your current approach. Just ask girls out to coffee, lunch, go on a walk and just talk and listen.

5. Not really. There is someone for everyone. If you’re having no luck it’s typically because you’re not putting yourself out there.

6. You just don’t want it hard enough. I know what is out there and how easy it can be.

7. I can almost guarantee you it’s not your looks holding you back but you confidence. How many girls have you asked out? It’s unfortunate but as the man you HAVE TO initiate.

8. You say you put yourself out socially but did you actually ask women out? There’s more women willing to do the first step now but it’s still not the norm, especially when they get shamed by (some) women and ( some) men for doing it.

   And it’s most likely not about your physical look if you are “unattractive”. Most likely it’s your personality, lack of confidence or too high standard. So many me that society judge ugly or fat still find lovers. And not just rich ones.

9. Nope. It might be the case you’re considered unattractive but that’s not why you’re not getting dates.
   Self-esteem, confidence, self-worth, being interesting, practice talking with a bunch of women. I’ve asked out basically all the women I’ve been interested in, it’s mostly rejections (even for attractive dudes) but that’s the game.

10. As you age, looks matter less and less.

    You could be an 18 year old hung stud, but if you walk around with a “woe is me” attitude, you won’t be doing yourself any favors.

    Focus more on mental and emotional connections with women and stop thinking that your physical appearance is your downfall. With millions of women roaming around, you’re bound to be on someone’s visual hotness scale.

11. Have you actually asked anybody on a date?

12. I didn’t lose my virginity to my 30s. I always had relationships, but it just happened like that. There is always hope and time,

13. Sorry bro means you have no game. Listen to some bill burr and take his advice go out and talk some shit to the laddyys. And yeah tell them you haven’t had a gf at this point who gives a fuck.

14. How many women are you interacting with on the regular? Or are you using dating apps?

15. Take more shots. I dont really care about hearing from someone who isn’t trying at all. And if you quit, honestly no one cares, no one cares if you get laid either. Big brain

16. As far as putting yourself out there goes, what does that look like for you? It is swiping on Tinder? Commenting on social media? Approach random women at the bar? Approaching women you had class with at university? Do you spend time with women ina larger social circle where you have the opportunity to develop friendships first, and then seek out a relationship if the vibe is there?

17. You don’t have the formula yet. More experiences, more hobbies that put you in proximity, and sell yourself! You are worthy of love and life companionship. A lot of the people above aren’t. That should be encouraging!

18. More likely, you’re just lacking the confidence to take the number of rejections before you get a yes. As soon as you can shake off a no and immediately move on, you’re invincible mate

19. So I want to let you know that it’s all about your vibe, confidence, and your own self care upkeep. Since you’ve provided little detail on that, I’m not entirely sure what to tell you.

    I will provide a rundown for you of what most women I’ve met has said they look for in a man so you can look over it and see if you meet any of what women talk amongst other women.

    -Good Hygiene, like shower once a day or every other day kinda hygiene. Nails are clipped and don’t have dirt or grime under them, clothes don’t matter too much just as long as your don’t have a hole in any areas that would be considered smelly and are clean so no holes in the pits, crotch, ass or belly button area. Behind the ears need to be clean like 100% of the time because they can get smelly and ruin the mood if I girl goes to kiss your neck and is met from an odor you hadn’t considered possible.

    -Vibes man, vibes. Like learn to pick up on cues they might be dropping, if they’re uncomfortable it shows in their body language, if they’re into whatever you’re doing they’ll engage you more. Listen to what they say, when they pause for longer than a minute, they’re stuck on how to further it without a given interest in the other party, ask questions at those points. Ask them about their passions, keep that knowledge in your head so if the opportunity arises where you can ask them out, you can plan to do something you know they’d be interested in. Some women are classy and like the first date a restaurant, some are more simple and like the first date at boba and walking the mall, this is why it’s very important to get to know them.

    -Honestly shoot your shot and ask them out, the worst they could say is “Ew no” or “Why the fuck would I say yes to you?” Good news, you managed to dodge a massive red flag. You’ll take a hit to your confidence but at least you know who you don’t want to associate with in a romantic setting.

20. No I wouldn’t say that at all. If you’re a nice guy, chances could be that women that have been in your friend group, worked with, or come across have seen you have a respectable and non flirty vibe; and have just matched that amiable mood.

    It could be you haven’t gotten confident in flirting or crossing that line from friendly to gentle flirt. Some women will make the first move, but most try to read and respect the room. It could just be some small thing about your demeanor that makes you come across as professional and not interested in anything else.

    I guarantee you’re not unattractive. Just sounds like a social cues issue. For those that aren’t overtly flirtatious; it’s usually easier to *first* find happiness in things you love, have a passion for, and are interested in. Then…people are able to see true happy smiles, hear deep invested conversations, watch you get animated when you talk about it. That’s sexy. Smart and sexy. Seeing people show happiness and contentment when they are finding out their their own interests is very attractive.

21. Later bloomer here too. You’ll find your nitch