I’m a people pleaser and struggle with saying no, so I keep hooking up with people because I feel bad about saying no to sex. This has happened with just random dudes and in relationships. I think it stems from me being insecure and valuing the other person’s feelings higher than mine. It’s not that I dislike sex but people are using me at this point. Like having sex once a month is nice but getting booty calls 3 times a week isn’t for me.
I’m looking for advice and tips on how to handle rejecting people.
7 comments
First, you have to work on your codependency and feeling like you are responsible for others. Next, learn the freedom of saying no.
How they handle it is their problem not yours. Saying no is your responsibility to yourself. It’s just one word and is a completely answer. If they respond with something like “why” or “are you sure” or “come on” they aren’t the person whose feelings you should be valuing. Even if they don’t coerce, if you feel “no” then that’s what your answer should always be. Don’t reason yourself into saying yes.
Take your time and learn some nice ways to say no. But be honest. It is fine to say that you would like to keep things at about once a month. Voila!
Are you able to handle communicating better in certain ways? Like can you set boundaries better in text?
“Hey, it’s been fun, but I’m not interested anymore. Take care!”
You’re hurting yourself. Before you respond to a booty call request, ask yourself, what would I respond right now if I loved myself? Then just say that answer to the other person and don’t look back. You will never regret putting yourself first and will get easier the more you do it.
maybe stop trying to have sex and start the journey toward loving yourself enough to give a fuck