What experiences have you ladies had with a partner refusing to go down on you?

23 comments

1. None. If that’s a boundary for them then that’s fine but we’re simply incompatible and I’m moving on.

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3. If you are supposed to still give them head still, does that make a difference as well?

4. It was very one-sided. I always went down without being asked. He never initiated and if I asked he would begrudgingly do so, sometimes. No we couldn’t get past it because it was just another indicator of his selfish personality. I broke up with him after two years and didn’t realize how lazy he was sexually until I started dating casually.

5. It’s never happened.

6. My current partner isn’t the biggest on oral which is honestly fine because I’m not either, he makes up for it other ways. HOWEVER, I used to have this one ex, that wouldn’t say it, but I could tell he had a double standard to oral pleasure. Sex with him was always bad. I tried to discuss it twice, nothing changed. So I left. I remember once asking him if he’d ever made a woman finish and he said no and I was shocked he didn’t see that as a problem.

7. Run… That’s something I’ve never had happen. I’m usually try to push them off. Lol because they’re over the top. That’s going to be a bad relationship.

8. My ex husband was like that. But then he’d talk about wanting to do threesomes. So then he tried and I got to be told “I guess it’s not *that* bad.” Oof.

   It’s a dealbreaker for me now. It’s part of sex I really enjoy.

9. I’ve never come across this. It wouldn’t be something I’d be ok with tbh.

10. I broke up with them. They also refused oral, and did a bunch of messed up things, but the elimination of all oral made it easy to decide to leave.

11. I just wanna say that a man who is disgusted by pussy is kinda gay

12. Why is it ok if a woman doesn’t want to go down on a guy but not if he won’t go down on his girl friend? I like gown down on my girlfriend but she won’t. Is the problem her or me???

13. Only a couple, and I didn’t stay around long after that

14. Honestly, I’ve never had anybody *refuse*, because I’ve never tried to force it. I’ve had maybe 2 or 3 people who didn’t go down on me, and it didn’t bother me at all.

15. I dated a guy for four years who would give me thirty seconds of half-assed oral every few months and act like he was god’s gift to women. He made me feel like it was selfish of me to want it, yet he never thought it was selfish of him to want head every single time we were together, no exceptions.

    I really internalised that I was selfish for wanting pleasure and I haven’t really ever felt comfortable letting anyone go down on me. My current boyfriend desperately wants to, but I have not let him do it yet because it feels shameful

16. Sure, I got past it. By leaving and finding someone who would. I bristle like a pincushion when I hear that a person who likes women won’t lick some clit. Yes, there are women who don’t want it, but the option should always be there.

17. I didn’t continue a relationship with them.

18. None. Id think hes a wuss and id move on.

19. One of the many reasons he’s an ex and why I’m so self conscious about that area even though my following hookups have not complained but I get insecure about it nonetheless 😔

20. Always AWFUL in bed, I’d get more excitement fucking a dry broom handle 🙄

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22. My partner does not enjoy blowjobs. And he is really gifted with his hands. So I never think to want it. With previous partners I would want it, but with my current partner I just don’t feel like I need it. It is weird. I never thought that would happen. So, yeah, we just don’t do oral with each other. I am fully satisfied with that.

23. I don’t have any experience with a partner not doing oral on me.