We’ve been together for two years. We have struggled with a few issues in our relationship such as communication, distance and intimacy.
In particular, she struggles with telling me things that upsets her, and often if I say something that upsets me, the situation can come back to her being upset and I have to comfort her. For me, I struggle with being open about things too because I’m frequently afraid that I’ll make her upset. About two months ago we had a big argument and contemplated splitting up but ultimately decided to keep trying.
Fast forward to about two weeks ago and she dumped me saying that she felt unhappy and that things didn’t improve for her. I was devastated and of course tried to reach out to her multiple times over the next week trying to fix things. We did speak a couple times but each time she was very cold, said she felt “dead inside” and they ended with her being upset and hanging up the phone. The second time that happened I sent her a text saying calling it done officially and wished her the best. She blocked me apparently after that.
Later that night, she calls me. She’s much more emotional now and says she’s sorry for breaking up with me and she misses me and wants to fix things. I told her I just went through hell and I spent a week trying to get her back and she didn’t want me. But only after I decided to just call it quits then she wanted to try. She explained she only just realized that I was truly gone and that she didn’t want to lose me. She offered to try counseling for her issues and over the next few days she continued to text me, offer me space if I needed it and kept saying she wants to work on us.
I’m wondering if I should give her the chance to prove herself or if I should just move on. I of course love her very much still, but this whole breakup has put me through the ringer and now I have anxiety that I’ll get blindsided again and end up back where I am. If I do give her a chance, maybe I should put some kind of time period where I decide if things are actually improving enough for me?
TLDR – She broke up with me, took a week to come around and is now saying she wants to fix everything and get back. But I’m unsure of if it’s worth it.
4 comments
She needs to work on herself first before she can get back into a relationship. A lot of times people break up and then realize that their life doesn’t get “magically” better after the break up or they don’t know what to do with all the time on their hands.
Stay broken up – no talking or texting or lurking on each other’s social media. See how you feel in 6 months.
Likely you’ll be over her and will have moved on.
Fuck no. She’ll flip flop again.
Nope, don’t be that naive.
>now I have anxiety that I’ll get blindsided again and end up back where I am
That seems highly probable. She sounds like an immature partner you can’t trust.