My boyfriend is a shy introverted guy, I’ve been dating him for almost a year, he is caring and thoughtful, always listens to me and he is kind and respectful. However, there’s a problem; he doesn’t have any female friends, all his friends are male, and he is pretty shy around girls.
I, on the other hand, have male friends (not so close, but we hang out)
The thing is, on the campus, he can’t come to me when i’m with friends, but my male friends do so easily.
That’s the thing he has always been jealous about. Tho he doesn’t directly talk about it and says that “it’s definitely my problem, i have to solve it on my own”
But lately it’s gotten worse, he is sad like for a whole day over it,
This is almost making me CRAZY.
He says he wants to talk to me but feels like it’s stupid that he feels jealous. I know how jealous guys are portrayed as crazy and straight up ‘bad’ ; that’s why he is so scared.
But it’s getting on my nerve, i wanna be able to hang out with male friends without getting him all stressed out and desperate.
Please help. I don’t know wtf to do.
4 comments
He’s got some work to do before he’s ready for a relationship. You know this isn’t going to last. You are too young to be taking care of a man like this. Walk away. He needs help. That’s not a slam. He really does.
What does “on campus, he can’t come to me when I’m with friends” mean?
He won’t physically wake up and talk to you?
It looks like you do talk about it with him, otherwise you wouldn’t know any of the things you wrote. Can you explain what does he mean by saying it’s definitely your problem that you have to sort out on your own? What exactly he thinks is “your problem” here?
Answering your question, you want to still have said friends and be able to hang out with them. He can accept it or leave. It’s definitely his problem and he has to deal with it on his own.
But it’s concerning that his behavior is escalating in a wrong direction. Trying to make it your problem and being “sad” for a whole day is a little concerning.
Jealousy is a serious issue. Usually folks with jealousy start out harmless enough, but they usually devolve into the stereotype of jealous partners. Just because your boyfriend hasn’t slipped into the stereotype yet doesn’t mean that he won’t.
He needs to start seeing a therapist. Immediately. His jealousy is a problem that is impacting his every day life. At this point he is not emotionally mature enough to be in a healthy relationship.