I am currently trying to process what has happened, and it is getting overwhelming and stressful. I feel I need to share it with someone as currently everything reminds me of a bad drama show.
I have 2 friends “Vivian”(26f) and “Maya”(28f), we have been friends since 2007 and they are besties to each other too. We went to the same school together, stayed over each other’s places, and were still in touch when I moved countries, and Maya moved to a different city thousands of miles away.
Vivian has always been fairly lightheaded when it would come to a relationship, so nobody was surprised when she cheated on her bf with some guy ” George” 5 years older than her when she was 16. What surprised us was her staying with her bf for the next 3 years, while she continued sleeping with that guy. Neither of us has met George, and we tried talking to her and reminding her that she was only 16 at the time while he was 21 and she might get in trouble, but she wouldn’t listen.
About 4 years ago, Maya got into a serious relationship with a man named George, too. As it is quite a common name and they met in a different city, we just thought it is a coincidence. When I was last over, I saw how happy Maya was with him and how caring he was and how much in love they were, so I was happy for her. Currently Maya is pregnant with their first child. About a year ago, Vivian also told us she is in a serious relationship and has recently been asked if she will marry the guy. She said yes. She hasn’t mentioned her George in a few years, so we thought this man is out of her life, even she would call them soul mates and that they belong together.
And that’s where things get hectic. By poor coincidence while browsing Instagram, I saw a story where Vivian was passionately kissing George (Maya’s fiancee). It got removed very quickly as I think it wasn’t meant to go public, but I immediately confronted her. Apparently the George Maya is engaged to is the same George who Vivian has been sleeping with since she was 16. They have tried to break it off and it only lasted for a year, and that year is when he got in a relationship with Maya, but then “their love was too strong” so they carried on seeing each other, which was fairly easy since Maya lives between 2 cities (as in due to work she spends about the same amount of time in where she moved to and our hometown) and they both work unsociable hours. I have reminded her about Maya’s pregnancy and that she should have told us he was the same person, but she didn’t. Vivian said she is happy with how the things are and George was planning to help to persuade Maya to make Vivian a godmother anyway, since I live too far away from both of them.
I feel I need to tell Maya what’s going on but I just can’t find the right words and what to say to her considering her pregnancy.
9 comments
does Maya have a sister? or a brother? some sort of supportive figure in her life that will not make her feel incompetent?
she’s pregnant and very sensitive- a double attack by parents might come as a shock.
but I think you really need to sit her down with say her sister if she has one and tell her together what you saw.
it’s better she knows now. Postpartum depression is a thing and it would be worse if she finds herself down that road and then you tell her after she gives birth. That’s too much for a human to handle. She needs time to not associate the baby with George. And Vivian sounds like a monster.
You need to tell her based on the fact that Vivian and George are planning a secret life together behind Maya’s back. That’s just awful. The engagement needs to be called off.
After you tell Maya the ball is in her court. If anything she could just marry the guy…not sign a prenup…and collect evidence of infidelity later down the road. That way she and her baby are taken care of until she can get back on her feet and out into the world.
If you have texts from Vivian confirming the cheating, you need to share them with Maya. George is a monster, and no one deserves that.
There’s no nice way to pull that bandaid off. But she needs to know George isn’t who she thinks he is, and neither is Vivian.
You would be the worst friend in the world if you didn’t tell her. They both knew the whole time and let her carry on. That is a terrible betrayal.
Tell Maya immediately!!!
“George has been sleeping with Vivian. She confessed everything to me. They’re planning to trick you into letting Vivian act as god-mother… I am so sorry to tell you this right now but you need to know! Don’t marry George!”
Just tell her. There is no way of telling her easy or sugar coating it. I have to question how close all of you are if no one’s seen this Goethe or even a photo before he shacked up with the other friend. This all seems very odd and too much of a coincidence
>they are besties to each other too
Yeah, no they aren’t. Vivian gives ZERO shits about Maya if she’s fine continuing to sleep with George.
George is also a terrible person and has no intention of ever stopping sex with Maya. Probably has OTHER girls he’s with.
Feel free to copy and paste this, OP.
“Maya, I have some really bad news and we need to talk ASAP. Video call me as soon as you can.” Show her the screenshots after breaking it to her, and be blunt if you need to. “George is with someone else, and I know who. And have proof. I’m so sorry.” This needs to be done quickly before Vivian or George decide to feed Maya lies.
You’ve said you want someone there to support her, but that might not be an option, OP. Can you tell Maya’s parents? Does she have siblings or family near her further home? Can YOU be that person?
(Also, lowkey…if I were in Maya’s position, I would cut you from my life if you stayed friends with Vivian after all of this. You may need to consider whose friend you’ll remain.)
As others have said you need to tell her as soon as possible. I understand wanting her to have a support system in place, but don’t use the pregnancy as an excuse to minimise things. Just tell her the same way you’d tell any woman her fiance is a cheating piece of shit. (And yes I know how hard that will actually be).
I also hope you’ve told Vivian that she’s a horrible excuse for a human being and you don’t want anything more to do with her, and after you’ve told Maya, expose Vivian to any mutual friends you have.
You need to tell Maya as soon as possible. She has a lot of decisions to make. George and Vivian deserve whatever fallout happens.
They need to lose the respect and friendship of everyone around them.
I hope people rally around Maya. She’s going to need a lot of support.
Oh wow there both pieces of shit, message the step brother tell him you need to call him ASAP it’s important about maya, then tell him what you know and you will be showing her everything but want him there when it’s said, so she not alone, also tell him or who ever with her to pack up George stuff and throw it out, once she knows, send everything to George that you have and say you both disgust me, I’ve told maya everything and from this day forward you and Vivian will be getting cut out my life and I will 100% be supported maya. God there both disgusting and Vivian is a vile peice of work.