Pretty much the title. Why do people think just because you’re quiet, you have “negative energy” & are thus disliked?

25 comments

  2. Quiet people don’t express their thoughts and feelings as openly as others. They may also be seen as unapproachable or uninterested in engaging in conversation. This leaves a blank canvas upon which the slightly unbalanced like to project their shadow selves – about themselves which is true, but rejected by the ego.

  3. It’s an assumption. People think more negatively about quiet people than loud people because quiet people are less understood and less predictable. This is annoying as a quiet person myself but the logic makes sense if assumptions have to be made. No one has the time to get to know every person they come across.

  5. It’s a common myth that quiet people are not engaging and have some weird personality when in reality many of them are just, well, quiet. I’ve actually seen more people gossip about quiet ones because quiet ones never fight back and the result is them being disliked for no apparent reason. Doesn’t help that society views the talkative loud ones as charming and reliable while the quiet ones are ‘boring’

  6. This is why I am a quiet person. I receive no criticism or insults, and I’m just part of the background. I just love being alone.

  7. I don’t see them as negative because I am one. I tend to get along with semi-quiet to quiet people for that reason. I didn’t even know other people view us as negative.

    What a world huh? The way I see it, is a lot of people just want things to be about them, so someone not talking to them, is insulting to them. When to me, I am just going about my day and everything is totally fine.

    If someone never says hi to me, I don’t even bat an eye, or even think about to be honest. I didn’t know other people care so strongly about that.

  9. I would say it would depend on how a person is quiet more than simply being quiet.

    A quiet person who is silently present, competent, and still engaged, even if slow to give their input or tactiturn, can be perceived positively. They are not closing themselves off to the world.

    But a quiet person who is also closed, never (or exceedingly rarely) puts themselves out there to offer suggestions, seems just eager to get out of every type of engagement, and repels all forms of engagement – not a great coworker to have, for sure.

    There’s quiet and confident and capable.

    There’s quiet and uncertain yet absorbing and willing to try, if hesitant with a tendency to avoid.

    There’s quiet and closed and, if older, maybe capable but unapproachable or, if younger, incompent through inexperience yet giving all signs of unwillingness to improve.

    And probably infinite other ranges. But it’s a whole package thing.

    Good communication is vital, and there are a variety of ways to do so effectively. Everyone has to learn that skill – but the skill of “presence” might be the hardest. Negatively perceived quiet people haven’t mastered that.

  10. I see the answer to this in my clinic.

    This is a social perception. One that usually debilitates the mental health of introverts, as they begin to judge themselves and see themselves as less than out of comparing with other “extrovert” and “normal” folk.

    It’s obviously a misconception, but one that begins to manifest itself in the introvert persona because of a consistent pattern of ostracizing. It’s like social propaganda.

  14. Most people don’t really care if anyone is quiet. They will notice it but don’t talk about it or try to change it. They just accept it as is and move on.

    Another group of people exists that are extraverted but also insecure or narcissistic. They will interpret a quiet person as someone who is disinterested in them personally, and therefore rude, so in their mind they are responding to rudeness by… being rude in return.

  17. I disagree with that thought. Loud & obnoxious people are perceived as negative. It’s a matter of opinion,sure. I was raised to have manners & be proper & professional. I am mostly quiet,but I can be chatty when the time is right. Or a good listener for a pretty significant other lady. Quiet is mysterious,not negative in my opinion.

  18. In my experience?

    1. People like being liked.
    2. People like social interactions that are black and white.
    3. Quiet people are obviously introverted and so their intentions and feelings aren’t as forthcoming as someone who’s more extroverted.
    4. People get insecure and defensive in face of that ambiguity of them being liked or not.
    5. People lash out and label quiet people weird and/or creepy.

    Of course, not everyone is like this. Growing up it was a very particular personality that would react to my (back then) extreme introversion like this.

  19. Because we aren’t responding back. People who dont respond back are responding in their heads and we all know people are more negative in their heads than spoken words.

  20. My mother always told me if I was quiet, people would think I was stuck up. So at least she thought quiet people thought they were better than everyone.

    It’s crazy what people will make up in order to fill in blanks. And quiet people have more blanks than talkative people.

  21. For me, I don’t view quiet people negatively, it’s more like respecting their space.

    If a person who talks a lot engages me, I’ll be respectful and share some small talk with them. If a quiet person nods and goes back to doing what they were doing, I’ll just nod back.

    Some people assume that quiet people just don’t like them, but that isn’t the case. They’re just not as inclined to speak to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If they speak to me I’ll speak to them. Stay on the level I always say.

  22. My sense is that quiet people are an unknown quantity, and therefore difficult to assess. They are like the uncomfortable silence in the lull of a conversation.

  23. I think its common to unconsciously project negative attributes to things we don’t undertand.

    Since quiet people can sometimes be hard to read, that might make some people assume some negative things.

    This does not make them true, it’s just the default state of interaction for many people. This might seem discouraging, but I actually find it quite encouraging instead.

    They are not seeing quiet people as all that they are, just their own faulty perception. They are making assumptions based on previous experience as well as some unconcious biased inherited a birth. It’s a survival mechanism that we aren’t aware exists.

  24. I’d say it’s because extroverted people talknand you get an idea of how they see things pretty fast whilst you won’t know how quiet people might tick. It might also appear as if quiet people are more hard work as you have to talk to them and possibly build up a rapport before we open up.

  25. This and people automatically assume quiet people are geniuses. I like to think I’m smart, and in school I would get decent grades. But solely because I was quiet and didn’t talk to anyone/no one talked to me, everyone would immediately ask me to explain the assignment if they didn’t understand or just straight up ask me the answers. In group work, all of it was usually put on me. Weird

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