My friend group (\~8-10 people) watches a reality TV show together every week, same day&same time. We all used to trade off hosting, but the past 2 months one friend (I’ll call her J) has offered to have everyone over each week. Same thing happened last week, and everyone said that they’d be there. However, the next morning J texted us that she and her boyfriend are sick and don’t want to risk getting any of us sick, but that someone else should host if we wanted. I told everyone that I’d be happy to host, but nobody even replied to my offer. I have a super cozy apartment and I always make sure it’s clean before people come over, and most of these friends have been to my place before. It made me feel hurt and left me wondering if these friends actually enjoy hanging out with me when J isn’t around. I typically take things pretty personally and I know that I am a sensitive person, but I’d like to know if I’m reading into this too much? Would this hurt your feelings too?
3 comments
I wouldn’t read too much into this, at the moment. See how things develop.
Keep in mind, if they don’t want you to host, it still might not be personal. If they’ve all gotten used to one ‘standard’ thing over the past 2 months, people may be resistant to changing it up purely because it’s change.
Or, alternatively, you may not even realize someone else really wants an opportunity to host – it wouldn’t hurt to wait a day or two, then renew your offer but add “I’m happy if someone else is interested in taking it on, though!”
They probably don’t want J and her partner to miss out. One possible response is- we can wait until you are better and watch it together.
no, you were a nice friend, there’s many possible reasons why they haven’t answered and if you haven’t picked up over these 2 months bad vibes from them i wouldn’t jump to conclusions