Genuine question.

18 comments

  2. – Power of self-delusion (which isn’t a bad thing)

    – Acknowledge that maybe they wont be into you, but you might as well act like they might because acting like they won’t does even less for your life in comparison

    – Learn to find pleasure in social interactions themselves, and then learn to take a risk

  3. This I don’t really understand too much of either. I had my friends and my family say “Im handsome” or a “good looking” guy. But it wasn’t until I went on Hinge and got a bunch of matches with some pretty damn attractive girls. Thats when I actually realized I was relatively attractive. But other than that, I dont really know. I’m on the same page as you buddy.

  4. Don’t judge other’s validation on your self worth. That will never work out well for you.

    You have to believe in yourself as silly as it sounds.

    It’s called confidence and it’s attractive. The opposite of confidence is a repellent if detectable.

  6. I had this question in the past, and honestly I didn’t find a positive answer before it actually happened to me…

    So I really think that it’s very hard to imagine to be attractive for some, if nobody ever showed it. At least on a feeling level, you probably won’t be convinced until it happens.

    But on a rational level you can work on it, and it’s actually crucial to do so in preparation for the future.

    Some elements that can help is knowing that a lot of people might have seen and liked you and you just don’t know, because they didn’t have the chance or courage to tell you. Another thing could be joining an app like RateMe, or a dedicated subreddit, and seeing individual votes, chances are the average might be normal but some votes could be very high.

    Once you understand, at least rationally, that you can be liked, when it actually happens you are ready to accept it happening, and this can make a big difference in your ability to believe in compliments, trust the people who made them to you, and responding to the interest.

  7. Be the things that you admire and love about other people. If you think funny people are attractive, be funny, if you think a certain type of clothes looks dope, wear those clothes. If you emulate what you like in other people, you will inherently have to like yourself/

    As a girl who has never been flirted with and has been rejected, it can be hard for me to feel attractive. But I just make sure to work on myself as a person based on what I want. I started paying more attention to fashion because I love the way I look in different outfits. I talk more in social situations because I feel really uncomfortable when I stay in my shell so much. All of the changes I’ve made have been because I’m working on being the person I want to be, not what I think everyone else wants.

  8. This sounds super weird but I used to think I was so ugly I thought looked like a beast, I hated looking in the mirror but I didn’t want to live like that anymore so I told myself I was beautiful everyday and every time I thought something bad I told myself I was so beautiful and that I looked like a supermodel after a while I started to believe it. Now I do truly think I am beautiful, often strangers come up to me to ask if I am a model or I notice people taking photos of me when I’m outside.

    Try speaking good things into your life and about yourself and in time it will all be true

  10. Something else to mention is that you may not feel attractive because you aren’t getting approached, that doesn’t mean you are unattractive, I’m most cases women expect the other person to make the first move it’s just how society has set it up which is unfair.

    Regardless maybe talk to someone and work on your confidence, even if you can’t approach others yourself maybe you can work on your self image and you won’t feel so bad about not having some one come up and say you are attracting

  11. Separate your own self-worth and self-confidence from what random women think.

    Remind yourself that you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and not everyone is going to be your cup of tea. And that there are a lot of people out there with different favorite teas.

  14. because it’s pretty much *impossible* that no one would ever find you attractive. we see conventionally unattractive people get into relationships all the time, it’s just circumstance. i was always jealous of everyone else in hs for dating someone already. but looking back on it, im really glad i didn’t seriously date anyone until i was 20. i learned a lot about myself and i’m able to communicate really well in my relationship because of it.

  15. I just accept myself for the way I am, if I’m being honest. If women don’t find me attractive, then it is what it is. I shouldn’t force myself to change for people.

  17. It’s all in the mind; yes I’d be attractive doesn’t come down to looks but only confidence.

  18. Honestly it’s luck + a good attitude. A lot of people are really lucky honestly and then it increases their confidence.

    My bet is you aren’t ugly you’re probably just not the kind of attractive women like. Most women Ive met prefer stereotypical hot guy…..but I have an “adorable babyface and Im so sweet” according to lots of women. And some of those women find that more attractive than random stereotypical hot guy.

    But I hear you man it’s tough

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