For example, going to the doctor when you’re sick or for check ups, going to the dentist, eating well, exercising, cleaning up after yourself, etc.? And for those of you who are divorced, was self-care easier or harder after things ended?

18 comments

  1. Good enough.

    I’m uncomfortable in a messy home, so I naturally clean up after myself. I enjoy good food so I eat well. For regular doctors appointments I practically only need a dentist checkup and that’s mandatory every year because of my insurance.

    Everything else isn’t needed for what I’m looking for in life and for what I need to be happy so I don’t do it.

  2. I slack on the dentist but everything else is on point. I’m a clean freak and good about health. My teeth aren’t fucked up either, I just go when I say oh shit it’s been awhile.

  4. got a good diet, skin care routine, house is clean, doc appts are easy enough.

    where I continually am faltering is my mental health and eating habits, not that they are bad, its just SO MUCH WORK to make a new different meal for dinner every single day, when its just me i just meal prep and eat the same shit all week.

  5. Some aspects of self care were easier when I was single after my divorce because I had a lot more free time to do things for myself. Some aspects were harder because I could slack on things and wouldn’t have anyone to answer to but myself and I was the one who got me into these messes.

    I’ve remarried and I think I’ve managed to find a good balance of family responsibility and doing things by myself for myself.

  6. Reasonable. I dont let the house get that messy and I go to the doctor when I need to. I take care of my self so I rarely have the need. Being married or divorced had zero effect on my habits. As you get older u have to take more time and care for ur health.

  7. I have cycles of caring for myself. I’ll do well at keeping up with everything, then one day I don’t do dishes and it starts piling up and things get dusty/disorganized, I don’t take care of myself very well, then I boom have like 2-3 days of deep cleaning and care and do alright for another few weeks

  8. Doctor when sick: if it’s bad and it doesn’t go away within a week, I’ll go to urgent care.

    Doctor for checkups: I go when it’s time for an STI test or I need a vaccine or something. They’ve never told me anything I didn’t already know.

    Dentist: it’s been several years now. I know I should go for a cleaning, I just can’t be bothered to spend my PTO on it. Nothing hurts, though.

    Eating well: yeah

    Exercising: good enough

    Cleaning up after myself: my building has coin-op laundry, and shit’s expensive, so the bedsheets get it once a month at most. I vacuum when my feet start picking up hair from the carpet. Dishes get done when I feel like it, but they don’t usually pile up. I’m always on top of the trash/recycling situation, though.

  9. I’m married now, but as a single man from 27-32, I was still an adult.

    Went to the gym 5 days a week. Made and went to appointments as needed. Picked one room a day to clean & tidy in the home.

    This has nothing to do with marital status.

  10. I did spend some time crying in my beer after my recent divorce. I had spent the overwhelming majority of my adult life as a husband and father who always addressed everyone’s needs ahead of my own. I once was head of household for a large blended family – 7 kids and a wife who couldn’t hold down a steady job…keeping our world afloat and making everything happen was a lot of work and pressure on me! And I put everything I had into an ultimately failed relationship. But I developed a strong sense of responsibility and work ethic as result.

    So now I am down to just three kids 50% of the time it’s definitely easier to find the time & energy to invest in myself and am in a very good place in life…career, parenting, home life, fitness, finances, social life – pretty much everything is in order and growing stronger!

  11. Amazing at it! I LOVE me. I had to learn to love and care for myself the same way I do the women I’m with. Since then my life has become 150% happier.

    Here’s how I do it:

    Doctor and dentist twice a year

    Take multivitamins daily

    Drink lots of water everyday including first thing in the morning

    Explore: skateboard, bike rides through DC, make Tik Tok vids, learn a new language

    Decompress on Sundays and do nothing

    Daily hygiene routine: brush teeth, floss, shower, shave, wash and manage hair

    ALL for me. The best thing I’ve ever done for me was learn to love myself. Women see that I take care of myself and now I constantly have to dodge relationships lol

  13. Well. When I was married I had no time for medical checkups, we lived off fast food, since my ex hated cooking.. my expertise routine consisted of farm-tending duty, and I did my best to keep the apartment clean.

    Now I don’t care if I’m healthy or not, my apartment is a mess, I’ve let myself go, and I live off delivery, even if of better quality. There’s just no care left. As long as I got a job and I am not a burden to anyone, I’m alright.

  15. I think I’m half-decent. If anything, I know how to care for myself and a house: cook, clean, do laundry and more.

    I tried my hardest not to be the stereotypical guy seen in pop culture – the slob who lives off of frozen meals and can’t be bothered to pick up after himself.

  16. Pretty good on most things but I haven’t had a full physical check-up since I was in high school. Have gone in for specific issues or STI tests, but could use some screenings for the big stuff. That’s on my list this year.

  18. It varies. Some weeks the dishes pile up, some weeks my home is shining. I have three kids living with me every other week, and I’ve noticed I’m a lot more functional when they are around.

    It’s also true what they say about physical exercise, if you do some cardio and weight training regularly, it boosts your mind and motivation for other stuff as well. I’m also old enough to realise my body isn’t very forgiving anymore if I don’t sleep/eat/exercise well.

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