I’m in a bit of a slump right now. Nothing crazy, just don’t really have many friends, haven’t had an official girlfriend in 3 years, never really go out, just kinda flowing through the days, then having a small crisis after realizing I’ve wasted the past 2 years of my life, which were my final years of being a teenager, with nothing to show for it besides newfound methods of anger management and a couple heartbreaks
It’s like a catch-22. I’m in a slump because of wasted time, but being in a slump is what causes time to be wasted. So I need to break the cycle now, before I’m 22 and writing this same post, but putting 4 years instead of 2
So this is why I’m here asking this. What are some things that I could get up and start doing, right this moment, to begin the end of this, to improve my life in multiple aspects? I know a lot of dudes here will have gone through something similar, so I was hoping to hear of first hand experiences
12 comments
Exercise, it’s good for you physically and mentally, and will help you sleep better at night.
Give yourself something to works towards or a goal, a small present for yourself or a vacation, really depends on the specifics of your situation.
Get some new hobbies
Also Covid years put a lot of people in bad or weird spots, I was fortunate to be on the flip side of that but after talking with some of my friends they sounded similar to your story
Exercise, but start small, get out of your house for 20/30 mins walking with music, and eventually start going to the gym 2/3 days a week, you’ll lose weight, feel stronger and more confident and should help your mental health too. All of that should snowball into being more outgoing and you’ll have somewhere to meet people and ask them for a beer or something. Also make sure you’re doing all the things a human needs to do, eat relatively healthy, make sure you get sunlight, fixed sleeping pattern etc etc. all these little things that you know you should be on top of makes a massive difference to getting yourself out of that rut
Exercise. Work. Keep busy. The rest will come
Limit your time spent online.
As others said, objectively the absolute best thing you can do is exercise coupled with a good diet.
It makes you feel good, you get into a good disciplined routine and when you get in shape it does wonders for your confidence.
Also, chin up, at 22 your life is just beginning! I’m sure you have many exciting things ahead.
Dress well. You’d be surprised how your outlook on life changes when you know you look good when you leave the house. Don’t fall into the dressed comfortably because you can’t be bothered trap. Talk to people in real life. Not just the pretty girls, make it a point to initiate 10 conversations a day with strangers. You’d be amazed at how eager people are to talk. Look people in the eye, when you speak and use their names if you know them. Little things like these add up and even if your life doesn’t change your outlook on life will.
Set some goals, fitness, work, hobbie goals. Anything.
And take cold showers, trust me.
You should limit your time jacking off to once a week. Book an appointment with yourself. Get some lube. Possibly find yourself a male based sex toy. Then make love to yourself for being a beautiful sexy human being who is working week on week towards a better version of yourself by doing the following
With that spare time and effort through the rest of the week. Start exersizing and cooking your own food. Tidy your room, apartment, house. Put aside some time in the morning, and before bed and stretch and really think about positive things in your life. Think about how good your life is.
Ok i am not a man but i’ve been where you are and am still on my way out of it but i consider myself as someone who’s made a heck of a lot of progress especially comparing myself to where i was a year or two or three ago.
and i have so many.
– do intense exercise –
Whatever level you’re at will depend on what intense means for you. Intense exercise literally heals trauma and heals/regulates your nervous system and does so many good things for you. Don’t underestimate how much of a positive effect it can have on you.
– work on your posture –
find exercises that targets posture. Your posture informs your brain on how you’re supposed to feel about yourself so if you can stand up taller, and feel a bit stronger, you will feel better.
– try to put effort into the food you eat, whatever kind of food you choose –
cooking is hard when you’re depressed but when you can make something delicious for yourself it feels good and it’s a way of practicing being put together and putting effort into yourself. Also find out if something you eat might be draining you without you realising it, or if you’re lacking some nutrient. Something very small can make a surprisingly big difference to energy levels.
– drink plenty of fresh water every day –
– get enough sleep –
try to wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day. consistency is surprisingly important for sleep quality don’t ask me why
– stay feeling connected to people –
Whether it’s friends and family or strangers. If you have no friends, get your foot in the door however you can. Join a club or a class, or sign up to a dating and friendship app that has a good reputation. Or use reddit kindvoice if you can do none of that.
– go for walks especially early morning –
Something about morning sunlight just fixes the rest of your day for energy and mental clarity. (bonus is if people intimidate you (like they do for me), there’s less of them around in the morning)
– clean or change up your environment –
the environment you spend time in dramatically affects your mood and mental clarity so use it as a powerful tool to change the course of your life. Like if you have trouble getting yourself up in the moening put an inspiring poster on your wall something that reminds you why you actually do want to get up and live. Or put exercise equipment where you see it often. And just don’t live in mess or chaos
– keep track of how you’re going –
if you’re in a slump you might feel lost or stuck at times or all the time so it might help to just pick up pen and paper and try to get organised to figure out what’s wrong and what you can do to get back on track. Or get some good journalling prompts and try to keep a journal of some sort. Lots of people attest to it helping them change their life
– have fun –
with all the effort you’ll put into changing your life don’t forget to also relax and do something you enjoy JUST for the sake of enjoying it. I love the beach but you do whatever you can to treat yourself
unavoiding life can be a ROUGH process so remember you can reach out when you need to. Kindvoice people can usually be relied on : )
Doing something aerobic every day will lift your mood. Nicotine,THC and alcohol will all lower it. Decide on what you want from this ride overall then break it down into small goals that will get you there and start pursuing them.Work on those first before chasing some girl. You’ll find that achieving some of those goals and being in a better mood will attract them to you.Then you need to be careful because hoards of them are looking for a sperm donor/billpayer and really don’t bring much to the table at all.
Diet and exercise did wonders for me when I was in the dumps. Drastically improved my motivation and focus. I hate sitting down and killing time by just watching TV nowadays. I get anxious because I feel so unproductive.
Improve – sleep, diet. Easier said than done but that is all