What would you do if you were in my situation?
I married my husband a year ago but we’ve been together over a decade. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect but we’ve always got along and I trusted him to some extent. A year ago and five years ago I found out that he hid credit card debt from me. I forgave him both times, and kept an eye on our credit card accounts after the recent incident (we had separate accounts for the 5 year ago incident).
I learned 1.5 months ago that my husband has sneakily quit his job 5 months ago. He opened new lines of credit and threw out mail to hide it from me. He has been going to Barnes and Noble every day to pretend to work. I only found out because I went to the doctor and they told me that I lost my health insurance.
We have pets and a mortgage, and he was the breadwinner of the family. I am a full-time grad student, and I make not nearly enough to pay anything more than the phone bill. We cannot easily relocate or downsize without giving up our pets, as one is a high-needs dog that will not be approved by anyone based on her weight and anxiety issue. He spent most of his gap doing nothing but watching youtube videos and making a failed youtube account. I wanted to quit my schooling to find work, but both him and my parents refuse (but I don’t want to take money from my parents).
He claims he has been applying to jobs, and he’s gone on a few that haven’t worked out due to competition from the FAANG layoffs. I told him to tell his family and friends and reach out to them to network. He brushes me off and says he will do it but doesn’t. I’ve hacked his LinkedIn, and he barely applies to any jobs (I have to apply for him), ignores even legit relevant recruiters, and does not contact anyone for help. Both of our credit is ruined and I am concerned I cannot get another loan for my last semester soon.
I don’t want to stay with him, but I have no where else to be. I worry he will do this again, and I cannot sleep in this house without medicine. My family refuses to let me leave him, and I am not close with anyone else. My family thinks I’m heartless for even being mad at him.
What should I do?
TLDR: Husband committed financial infidelity. About to be homeless and lose everything near and dear to me. I have no support system, and I just don’t trust him.
2 comments
No kids? Why the hell are your parents against you leaving? Get out now. That’s too big to hide.
I don’t really hear any solutions from you, just complaints. You hold against him that he’s not doing enough, but you’re a 30 year old student who draws no salary, so kinda like the pot calling the kettle black, no?
It doesn’t really matter. The contempt for your husband is almost oozing out of your post. For both of your sakes, leave him while you’re young and child free. You’ll both actually have a chance at happiness maybe.