I 24 F and him 28 M have been dating long distance (2 hr. drive) for 2 years but one day had enough. I am currently full time at a college, working almost full time, and interning. I have a full plate and would still make time to see my him. He is a good guy. He treated me well and I can say he did love me. We have traveled together and been involved with each other’s families. When we started to date, he promised me he would learn how to drive and get a car, but I never saw any actions. He would take trains to come down and see me or spend the weekend. He works full time at a kiosk. He does not have a car. Did not have a saving account before he met me. He told me he was in major credit card debt but did not mention the amount. I would let him know that I was tired and annoyed of driving us around all the time. We were on the verge of breaking up twice in the past because he didn’t have any drive or motivation to get his driver’s license or get a car. He wanted a 50/50 relationship, and I did not. When his job was threatened, he didn’t do anything to prepare himself. He did not want to go back to school. He didn’t want to improve as a person. I offered my help to get him a job where I worked or with the county but declined. I struggled with this because I love him. He was the first person who made me feel something. I did not want to break up with him but did not think about the long-term goals like purchasing a home. The last thing that triggered my decision was that he was in 20K debt and had to get credit consolidation.
When I broke up with him, he said I made him feel bad because he did not make enough money. But that is not the reason.
Did I make the right decision?
3 comments
You made the right choice.
Plain and simple…he’s not financially responsible which would weigh heavily on a relationship even if it was “50/50”.
The amount of money he makes is moot, he can’t manage it. Even if he made more it wouldn’t matter, he’d still accumulate bad debt. His response to you dumping him just shows he doesn’t get it.
NTA.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who is financially responsible. To me, it seems like your decision to break up with him had more to do with his lack of effort rather than how much money he makes.
It’s hard dating someone who is almost 30 with no car and serious debt. Those are important facts to consider when you are looking for a life partner.
You absolutely made the right choice