Let’s chat about something.
There are guys who desperately want to get laid, but they’re stuck with porn due to lack of social skills, low confidence, and whatever else. Imagine they get lucky with some girl who’s that horny and not too picky. By chance, they finally get laid. What then?
What changes, really? Are they any more socially adept than they were before? Are they suddenly studs? Is it any different for women? I’m interested to hear your experiences.
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Well, with a little luck, they realize the obvious, that the only thing holding them back is their negative attitudes.
You know that everyone who is not a virgin and goes forward to have relationships and a healthy sex life manages that transition somehow.
I don’t think that the girl is too horny and picks a virgin is probably a common occurrence.
For most people who lose their virginity, they had something else going for them.
Lots of people think that being a virgin is an issue and that being a virgin is the issue preventing them from.havimg sex, it is not.
It is the thinking that virginity is important and if only I wasn’t a virgin I could get…. That is the problem.
So how do you go from desperately trying to have sex to having sex with some frequency? That is the crux of the question.
The answer is that a person needs to be interesting enough to keep someone’s attention. That is accomplished by treating a potential partner like a person and not like the receptacle of your unfulfilled sexual urges. Treating women as your equal socially and as they matter asuch as you do. Is a huge move in the right direction
Women are people first and foremost and thinking of them otherwise is a red beacon that warns them away.
Literally speaking nothing changes, however, I think there can sometimes be a mental shift.
There is a possible short term confidence boost that if it’s capitalized on with success can lead a complete rewire of that mind set. Having sex IMHO can awaken some primal instincts in a man.
5 minutes later they realize porn isn’t real and pussy isn’t magical.
Then they hopefully stop the romanticism of sex resulting in their virgin behavior.
I’ve mentioned this before for myself and I’m going to assume a lot of guys go thru this too.
First thought: THANK GOD I’M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE! I don’t have to be scared of being caught being a virgin!
Second thought: Wow, sex was fun and all but it’s not life changing. I don’t know why people act like “this is your life before losing your virginity and this is your life after”. Because you’re the same person. You’re not any more suave. You’re not any more attractive. Your one instance of sex doesn’t turn you from sex schlub to sex god. It’s just a singular step.
Third thought: I kinda put sex on a pedestal didn’t I? It’s not that big of a deal.
But honestly, those two realizations – that virginity is not that big of a deal and that sex isn’t that big of a deal CAN help in that you stop being as awkward about it because you realize you’re making a whole lot out of nothing.
I’d say it’s not like it flicks a switch and changes them overnight or whatever, but it can be a grounding and eye-opening experience that teaches you to re-evaluate your idea of sex a bit, and in the best case scenario lets you start becoming more relaxed and confident about it.
Although for sure that isn’t always the case.
I’ve always been a very anxious guy, especially around women. I didn’t really start interacting with girls in a meaningful way until college, and it took a couple years to work my way from (literally) just being friends with girls, to dating, to light physical intimacy, to losing my virginity. Even then it was a very bad experience and it took another couple years (!!) for me to start having good sex. By that point though I had undergone so much personal development that I was barely recognizable as my early-college self. I don’t want to say sex played a role in my improved confidence but the amount and quality of intimacy I had correlated strongly with it.
The ability to get laid is hugely important for most mens self-esteem. If you can never get laid it’s going to feel like you’re starving. Your life might not radically change after it but you’re definitely going to feel better at least in the short term. If you can consistently do it then you’re going to have a good life