We used condoms in the beginning, then I got an IUD twice (one impaled me, the other “vanished”), I’ve tried the patch, and I don’t like the pill since I have a hard time remembering to take it everyday.
So since I really tried my best, it’s up to him to save the day and get the snip. I really want to say “thank you for doing this” and also make him laugh so I want to get him something!
It would need to be something I can get by end of day tomorrow unfortunately. I am very crafty/artsy so don’t leave out those suggestions!
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A very official looking positive paternity test
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A bag of candies and assorted treats. Make sure they are all nut free and write that on a little index card and place it on top.
100% nut free
Or something like that.
If you google “vasectomy gifts funny” there’s a ton of examples that could be done very easily.
But honestly the best gift after getting mine was to just make it extra hot the first time the doc gives him the go-ahead to ditch the condoms. Make it a big deal that he gets to finish inside. Talk it up all day.
Get him a sexy bag of frozen peas.
A pie, made with lots of cream.
I often see hydrophobic sex blankets recommended in this sub. It’s something to open that also carries the implication of what’s to come (pun intended).
A cock cage … he definitely wouldn’t be using that thing for a couple of weeks!
https://a.co/d/678ToIh
https://a.co/d/glY5nW8
A crocheted, pillow, or otherwise artsy bag of frozen peas.
I have heard that it can be quite crushing to not have a natural ejaculation anymore so I would avoid anything that sounds like he was less of a man. I would want some hugging and snuggling. Maybe a nice dinner.
But if you are sure your partner would like something like you described: Do it one last time with a condom and make ice cream out of his sperm.
I got a weekend away from my three-year-old daughter and six-month-old son, with lots of ice packs and tv in bed. At the end my young daughter swooped in, gave me a big hug, and promptly rammed her big head right into my balls…
What do you MEAN “Vanished” ?!?!?
I’ve seen vasectomy cakes and cookies people make, or have done professionally.
I gave my husband a cake of the Michael Scott meme (snip snap snip snap snip snap). He loved it!
Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies
I had a cake made that looked like a sperm with sad eyes. This was back in the 90’s and it took me a bunch of phone calls before I found a place to make it.
Get him a man sized cone of shame
Typically post vasectomy they say there needs to be 20-30 ejaculations to ensure the pipes are all cleaned out. How about some cute coupons to help him out with those.
Update: He went in and they told him he has to wait 30 more days before they proceed to make sure he is ready. So I guess I have a lot longer than I thought 😂
A bottle of Tropicana OJ with a note “All juice and no seed!”
A photo of a swim team with the inscription “Congratulations on retirement!”