My long term boyfriend (nearly 4 years) has a hard time being emotionally supportive towards me and my feelings. He gets annoyed and shuts me out frequently when I express my inner world. I know he is a dismissive person in general but when I ask if he can just try to hold space for me because I am his partner he says things like “well maybe I just don’t have empathy” or complains and says he doesn’t think he can accommodate my emotions and that it is too much for him. It makes me feel like I need to shut off how I am feeling which only makes things worse when I repress myself. We have a lot of good moments but when it comes to being vulnerable he shuts me out. This leads to me having doubts and feeling unstable. Is this something that we can work through?
2 comments
Can you give an example?
In theory his lack of emotional intelligence and care could be worked on. If he wanted to. But that has to be a him decision. Not a y’all or you decision and since he hasn’t worked on it yet or even attempted to I think you should really examine what you need in a relationship to be happy. Because you don’t sound happy. And he sounds like your average asshole who doesn’t love or respect his partner.