I’m in a new relationship with my girlfriend, she is my third romantic partner, and my last relationship ended 10 months before current gf and I became an item. I have not had any other sexual partners in that timeframe. She was in a physical relationship in summer 2022 which ended in August. Ultimately they broke up and she found out he had been cheating on her during said relationship. We became official on December 12th and like many young and dumb couples in new relationships, we started having unprotected sex frequently without getting tested first.
She recently got tested for a UTI as it is something that she suspected of having since she’s had one before. I called her after getting the dreaded “I have to tell you something” message today; the test for a uti came back negative but also positive for chlamydia. She swears up and down that she didn’t cheat and that she knows she got it from her ex because of his cheating. She knows I have been cheated on by one of my past girlfriends and have trust issues because of it. She’s said that I’m the best boyfriend she’s had, that I’m everything she’s wanted and needs and that she would never cheat on me and never has.
I gave her the opportunity on the phone to tell me if she cheated and told her to be completely honest and that I’m not kidding: she said she puts it on anything that she didn’t cheat. I told her that if we’re going to continue then we’re going to get tested regularly and if she’s not okay with that then we are 100% done. She said she’s okay with that and that she wants me to be able to trust her.
I don’t know what to think right now. I told her I’ll call her back later tonight or tomorrow before we go to pick up my medication from the PP office. What do you folks think I should do here? In the meantime I’m going to the bar with my buddy (I’m not telling him any of this obviously).
Thank you kindly.
1 comment
Wow. Ok. So you really don’t know anything about sti’s/stds.
Chlamydia can show little to no symptoms. Hence why it can go undetected for a long time. Sometimes even years and cause people serious health problems such as becoming sterile.
She’s assuming her ex bc of your ex being 10 months ago and hers being November. Eh. Wrong. You could’ve given it to her. You said neither of you had been tested prior to sleeping together. You could’ve been the one who was carrying it and infected her.
Having only 3 partners does not equal they’re STD/STI free. Especially if none of you were ever tested.
You do need to cut her a break as it’s only been 2.5 months and she absolutely could still have chlamydia from her last boyfriend. If she’s used to uti’s, she could’ve blown off mild symptoms as a uti.
You chose to have sex without a condom. Your sexual health is YOUR responsibility. Sex is a risk every time you have it. If you’re not ok with that, then don’t have sex.
You need to get educated on stds/stis. I suggest speaking to your doctor and reading google.
This woman is still swearing she didn’t cheat. She obviously really likes you to put up with the berating 3rd degree about cheating and you mandating regular testing. Most women would’ve been like see you bye over the berating it’s only been 2.5 months.
Give her the benefit of doubt. Don’t let your fears created by the past dictate your future. She is not your ex until she proves otherwise. And if she proves she’s untrustworthy then get break up with her. But you could miss out on a great girl all bc you’re punishing her for someone else’s mistakes.