Struggling with a girl (26F) that I’ve (26M) been seeing because she’s not too affectionate. Been dating about 3-4 months so it’s still early but we are exclusive and I think things are heading in a serious direction. I do feel like I really like her. I also have anxious attachment style so I understand that I could just be overly anxious about this.
She doesn’t like much pda at all but is okay with the occasional kiss and shoulder rub. When we’re alone it’s better, she’ll cuddle me and kiss me but normally I have to initiate. She doesn’t give me too many compliments unless I kind of ask what she thinks of me and normally just overall I’m the one initiating dates and forms of affection.
She said growing up with her dad he never really showed her any affection so I get that, but it’s really tough to gauge how she feels about me. Am I reading into it too much or is she just not really that into me?
1 comment
Honestly I went through something similar my parents were not affectionate to me as a child and competely ignored me when I wanted a hug or affection.
What she should do I don’t know if she’s in therapy but therapy helped me become more affectionate and I still struggle with it from time to time. My parents were also never affectionate with each other which makes it increasingly hard for me to be affectionate.
You could have a one on one talk with her about getting therapy and also talking to her about how you like to be shown affection.
For me honestly it’s rough and takes time I’ve had guys think I was not into them I was and I even told them but giving affection for me is
extremely awkward and it’s kinda like “I don’t know what to do here…”
So what I’ve started doing is asking how they’d like affection and also being in therapy so I can be present when affection happens. Ive had cases where I really wanted to be affectionate but mentally I couldn’t do it because theirs some sort of block.
Hope this helps 😊