Hi all,
My dad recently texted me (January 14th) asking how i was and i haven’t yet responded. The reasoning is that he never calls/texts me or offers to support me in any way. He has been a pretty bad dad over the years so i don’t really know what to say.
I recently changed my name and i don’t know if he yet knows about that too. so much has happened since he last texted me over 18 months ago such as me being put on antidepressants etc.
Any help of what to say would be really appreciated.
TL;DR! – my dad hasn’t spoke to me in 18 months and i don’t know what to say. he’s very inconsistent and has been a bad dad over the years.
4 comments
Do you want contact again? Why would he reach out? Usually when there’s no contact, they only reach out when they’re desperate. Is it likely that he needs a kidney or a loan? Is it likely that he has overcome some personal issues and now wants to rebuild a relationship with you? Only you know how the bond is and what you want to invest.
You don’t have to tell him details if you do reach out. Keep your expectations low. Put yourself first, if you don’t feel comfortable with the contact, don’t engage further.
It really depends on what you want. Having good expectations can really help you to manage this relationship.
If you would like somebody in your life that you text every year or so to say hello, this can definitely be that relationship.
I see, thanks for this. How would I manage my expectations on this? If you see the other comment on this post it gives a bit more detail too.
Only respond if you want any type of relationship with him. If you do respond, it’s ok to let him know exactly what you told us. He hasn’t been consistent and if he wants to rebuild, you need to see effort on his part.