Background : back in September I (22/M) met Jackie (21/F) through a class we shared. Halfway through the semester (mid October) I asked her out and she rejected me with “I’m flattered but I don’t want to give the wrong impression.” I still had feelings but had no hope of being with her since I now knew she had a boyfriend. At the end of the semester (December) she would reveal to me she has feelings for me and that if she were single she would date me and went on to say other things. She didn’t propose cheating or anything like that. She just said she’s staying with her boyfriend and that she knows it’s unfair to tell me she likes me but can’t “do anything about it atm bc of xyz”
So this semester Jackie and I became more friendly with each other. We never hung out outside of school but we sat next to one another in two classes and would usually text for a little once or twice a week. There’s been a bunch of times this semester where I cannot tell if Jackie is just being friendly with me or she’s being somewhat flirty. I still have feelings for her but I’m not going to try anything on her. I cannot tell if she wants to be good friends or if she still has feelings for me and is trying to maintain “us” (idk if that’s the proper way to describe that) or if it’s a little of both.
Basically my dilemma is, The semester is ending in two weeks. Once school is over we are graduating, meaning we won’t see each other anymore unless it’s at the gym or some other public spot. I think there’s a good chance Jackie brings up something about us hanging out or something once school ends, but if she does , I’m going to have to tell her I can’t. And it’s not because I don’t want to , but it is because I still have feelings for her and I’d feel like it would be wrong of us to spend time together outside of school knowing that back in December we confessed feelings for each other and basically flirted a tiny bit.
Of course she may not even say anything, but I think there’s a good chance she will and I’m gonna feel like an asshole if she does. We get along really well and I just sense that chemistry with her but I can’t cross that boundary. If we saw each other at the gym or wherever then I’d love to strike up a convo but that’s all I can offer at this time.
TL;DR: I can’t be close friends with a girl I like. She likes me back but has a boyfriend. How should I handle this?
1 comment
Just be honest with her. It’s not really a difficult situation and she’s kind of leading you on in my opinion.
Just say quite clearly that you don’t feel comfortable pursuing this friendship due to both of your feelings for each other. If she were single then things might be different but telling you she likes you back whilst she’s with someone was never going to end well.