I really don’t feel like complaining and being an emotionally distressed mess on here but this is the reality of the situation.
I’m a 22M doing a master’s degree and have recently entered a mild depression from a sexual dry spell.
I met a new FWB 6 days after I moved cross country last August. Great. Looking up. October, she caught feelings and wants to be exclusive, but we really weren’t compatible dating, so I cut things off.
It’s been a dry spell ever since, and it hasn’t been without trying. Going to clubs once even twice a week, swiping to my max limits on multiple dating apps, and have been attempting raw, cold approaches in the gym, in restaurants, and in my university.
Recently, I had 3 women I was really interested in, more than anyone I had met previously, who all did not work out in the matter of a week. I’m in a difficult place and I feel unmotivated to do anything or go anywhere besides the gym and having to show up for class. I can’t go to clubs anymore because the hit I take on my confidence isn’t worth it. My sex drive is in the tank and I’m negative all the time. My own mother asked me today if I was gay despite her having known and met a couple of women i dated in the past. It doesn’t help the fact either that after I ended a serious LTR about 2 years ago, I’ve only met 2 people whom I was ever interested in giving my heart to and they did not feel the same way and am worried this will continue.
What do I do about this?
3 comments
Dating is a numbers game. You have to keep trying even when tough
Dating/hooking up is the process of weeding out all those we don’t fit with comfortably. The more narrow the parameters, the more difficult it is to find a match. As you know, sexual attraction isn’t just physical. Feelings of one sort or another are often involved. That complicates matters. There’s a lot of rejection involved. And that goes both ways (like you rejecting the fwb after feelings).
So, take a break from trying to date/hookup so you can recharge your batteries.
Decide you’re celibate for the next month. Then go to the club and enjoy people. Make new friends. I bet you’ll be able to lift your mood and be ready to get back at it after the month.
Seriously, just take it off the table for a well-deserved break from the pressures of seeking it.
Just remember it’ll either pass or it won’t.
Coming up on a seven year dry spell.