Hi, I kind of feel stupid for posting this but would like to hear your take on this. I have been dating this guy for quite some time (i think we went on ~ 8 dates) and recentely we had sex for the first time. However, he quite quickly went soft. We tried again later but the same thing happened. He said this had happened to him before.
Now he is acting more distant and I haven’t seen him in more than two weeks. I’m pretty insecure and thinking he might not have liked how I looked or something (although he had seen my body before). So.. just looking for some advice
6 comments
He’s likely embarrassed for not being able to stay hard. It sucks when it happens and is a huge mental hit when it does.
I’ve gone soft many times but if the girl is my type I always comes back stronger and harder .I’m thinking this guy is simply not interested anymore .
My assumption is that he just feels embarrassed. It’s probably more about him than anything with how you look or your body. The first time can be nerve-wracking for both people and it probably just bruised his ego a little and maybe he feels he disappointed you.
Maybe try to bring it up casually? I don’t exactly know how you’d do that. I’m sure a lot of redditors can give helpful feedback though!
If this has happened to him before, chances are that was weighing on his mind. Stress or worry can do a lot to one’s self confidence and libido.
Pretty sure he has no issues with your body.
He’s likely in a spiral about his performance. In his head that you don’t like him because of it.
What happens when you try to reach out to meet again? And how do you feel about trying to work out ED issues with a guy?
Try to hint that its ok for you that that happened and you’d like to see him again. In his mind, he’s probably thinking he’s not ‘good’ enough for you