I’ve been married for 10 years with my wife. I was her first sexual partner.
Before her, I had about 14 or more partners.
For whatever reason, her vagina simply does not feel good at all.
Yes, im attracted to her.
Her wetness is 4/10.
Her tightness is 8/10.
But it simply does not feel good.
I’ve had sex with girls where it felt like plush wet velvet.
Hers just feels rough, and my dick goes numb in there.
We’ve tried butt plugs to make it tighter and ample amounts of lube, but regardless, the walls of her vagina just feel thin and rough.
It really sucks because I’ll be in the mood after seeing her body, get all excited, and then it’s 100% always a letdown.
Any advice here?
11 comments
Sounds you suffer from the problem of considering sex to just be PIV. Sounds like you also suffer from comparing her to other partners
It’s pretty fucked up to rate her wetness and tightness on a scale of 1 to 10. And these attitudes likely have impacts on how you interact with her, and what sex feels like. I’d take a long hard look in the mirror, and that might improve sex.
In terms of improving sex, just start exploring other areas. Include toys, both for yourself, and for her. Include more handjobs, oral, anal play, prostate play, roleplay, etc etc. There are so many activities you can try to improve your sexual wellbeing.
But again the sexiest organ is the brain. if you think you’re not going to have a fun time with your partner, guess what, you’re not going to. You need to start considering that you might be part of the problem here (not just your wife)
So what you’re saying is you married a woman knowing you didn’t enjoy the sex with her. This seems like a YOU problem.
Is it possible that she has a medical problem down there? This seems very strange, I’ve never heard nor experienced anything like what you describe. Perhaps using a condom could work to make it feel less rough? I’ve never heard anyone describe a pussy as “rough” before. Especially if you’re using lube then I don’t even know how that would be possible.
She probably can’t get wet due to test anxiety, plus her husband has a 2/10 attitude and matching dong.
What kind of lube are you using? Silicone-based lube tends to coat things better and feel filmier. Maybe trying a new lube would help.
But also, the advice given above — the comment you dismissed as “virtue signalling,” which is a super gross thing to say to somebody who’s trying to help you — is very good and has constructive, actionable suggestions that could significantly improve your sex life.
I don’t know why you’d post on an advice subreddit if your ego is so fragile that you refuse to listen to constructive suggestions.
Would you like her to rate your penis size and performance out of 10?
I second the suggestion of trying different lubricants, making sure she is relaxed and feeling good and if still a problem maybe a doctor’s visit. Good luck
That’s just the way it is. Not all women are the same. Not everybody is ‘compatible’. You should not have married her if it was an issue for you.
It sounds as if her vaginal rugae don’t work for you. Researching that may be helpful to you.
Is she on a hormonal birth control?
Does the intensity of the thinness and roughness change with her cycle?
Does she have any pelvic issues?
Vaginas are complicated…i thought for years I had an issue with mine but turns out it was the men I was with and how comfortable and safe I felt with them. Women are harder to arouse sometimes due to needing to be aroused mentally rather than just being kissed and touched (though everybody and every vagina is different). Maybe yourself and your wife need to explore what gets her off and what makes her wet…after all vaginas are supposed to accommodate penises and are supposed to get wet and loose. Your wife may require more stimulation and foreplay before sex – exploring and communication is key. If your wife is on birth control, this could be effecting her libido, thus effecting the wetness and tightness.
As others have mentioned, there is a possibility your wife has an issue which might need checking out – again, communication is key here and discussing this with your wife (even if it’s the first time) will benefit you both in the long run.
Lube. Try going raw dog up the tooter hole. Amazing texture. It’s a hole different range of sensations and feelings. On most womens I like it even better than their pooner holes. Every now and then you’ll find a pooner hole that can squanch on you like a tooter hole but it’s rare.