[ How is it like to be “single father”? ]

13 comments

1. [Idk but i’m curious as well]

2. It’s hard and stressful

3. It’s difficult because I feel like I’m never spending enough time with my kid. Me and his mom are coparenting well though so that’s positive.

4. It’s all about time management and depending on the age of the kid(s), there is no spare time 🙂

5. It’s extra tough. As it would be for a single mom. Main difference being if you get burned out or make a mistake, you don’t get the bailout of “oh she’s a single mom cut her some slack” but instead get derided as a worthless man or bad father.

6. I have 50/50 custody, so I’m not sure if that falls into “single father” territory or not, because I get a lot of breaks based on the custody schedule. But, I’ve found my situation enjoyable. I love spending time with my son, and not having my ex-wife at the house allows us to live without walking on eggshells. I am fortunate that I have a good job and make good money, and I generally can work from home, so when his here I get to spend a lot of time with him. Additionally, because I have shared custody I get time to concentrate on myself and my interests when he’s at his mom’s.

   I’ve found everyone to be incredibly supportive if I need help with something, and people seem to be impressed by any “parenting” I do, regardless of how difficult or easy it actually is. I’ve got friends in the same boat and we have our schedules synced so we can all hangout with the kids and help each other out. Overall, life is really good.

7. I was a single Dad of two young boys for a handful of years and it was…parenting. I never had a single person look at me weird or say the stuff Reddit swears randoms say to dads like “oh that’s so good of you to be involved” or whatever. Literally never got any of that. Never felt disrespected or belittled in court or mediation either tbh. There was stuff I wasn’t super good at that I had to learn, like cooking for them and being organized for bedtime and all that, but I’ve always been the one to go to back to school nights and get them haircuts and all that do it didn’t ever feel like some insurmountable challenge that only a Mom could do. Tbh, as a single Dad being out with my two boys caught a lot of positive attention from girls in a weird way. Like having a puppy but way more. I don’t think I ever leaned into that, but it seemed like women were pretty attracted to it, which is interesting considering the aversion by men to single moms. I leaned on family for help when I needed it and I’m much happier now that I’m re-married with a blended family, but I’d never look back as say “wow that was a bad time in my life”. If anything it made me grow up and be more responsible.

8. Single dad of 2 teens. 100% custody. Full time job. Mum only sees them a couple times a year as she lives 300 miles away and doesn’t drive.

   Yes I get no breaks, but I love it. I am lucky though as they are getting old enough to look after themselves so I can start dating again and have a girlfriend I can spend the odd night with. She is the female equivalent. Her ex barely in contact with her kids but they are pre teen so can’t really be left on their own.
   Having a daughter just having gone through the period starting was a challenge but we communicated well and brought us even closer. She can talk to me about anything now without any fear.
   Would I change it, hell no. I love being a dad.

9. My parents divorced when I was 13, and my mom moved away. My father had to raise the 3 of us, all through puberty and teenage years, while working as a carpenter freelancer and cooking daily for us. As a kid, I never really noticed the struggle. Now, I can’t express how much respect I have for him and how much I’m truly grateful for everything he’s done. It must have been difficult, challenging, exhausting, and much more

10. I’m not a single father but I was raised by one.
    The lack of support was the worst part for what I saw. Other kids got toys and such because of charities or government assistance. Nope, my dad found most of those charities only go to single mothers and he kept getting denied for aid so he had to bust his ass to provide for us since no one else would.
    Didn’t see my mother from 4 to 17 when she tried to get money and tried to guilt trip me.

11. It is sad. My wife left me back in July. She moved three hours away and filed for divorce immediately. Because of her move, I am going to end up with primary custody when my daughter starts school.

    I have had to find new and innovative ways to get house chores done. I do all the laundry, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the house cleaning. I still make all the money, but now I have to manage the entire home and my kids’ lives too.

    Worst of all, I’m lonely to an unimaginable extent. I miss my wife terribly and I mourn for my children who will never know a family that is whole. My son won’t even remember a time when his mom lived with him.

    This is what infidelity does to a family. It shatters lives and makes husks of people who once knew peace. I adored my family above all else, but my wife had an affair and destroyed everything we’d built.

12. Difficult, esp. with a 50+ hours a week job and a vitriolic ex-spouse who tries to thwart you at every opportunity

13. Single father’s don’t advertise themselves. I worked with this guy for a year and I found out a week before I left that he was a single father of two daughters. Single fathers just work and go home. They are also resourceful in helping their children