Im 22 years old male i really dont know where to start but i have low self esteem and social anxiety. i go to the gym regularly and there is this very beautiful girl at the gym we made eye contact few times but i dont know how or should i approach her. i keep thinking no way she’s attracted to a guy like me i keep picturing my self looking silly and goofy if i said hi to her. i overthink everything even on every detail on how to say hi how would i raise my hand how would my voice tone would be my facial expression etc. im terrified of being embarrassed and rejected i fear that if i go talk to her she would ignore or do anything that will embarrass me infront of the people around.
I also kinda dont have anything to say except hi how are you what are you training today these kinda stuff and everytime i see her i avoid looking at her and it crushes me that im that afraid of the outcome specially today i was very close to her and i havent even looked at het and tight now she might be thinking that im ignoring her or im arrogant and not interested etc im mentally tired from this problem advice?
4 comments
she probably goes home and cries her heart out: “he doesn’t notice me!”
Bro, one of the butt-ugliest Soldiers I ever had was hooked up with a smoking good looking wife. Don’t be intimidated. And please don’t get hung up on this one woman; start talking with a lot of PEOPLE, men and women, and get used to being more social. One of the best things to remember is to treat woman as people first – as a side effect, it will help you to skip past being so anxious. Go meet some nice people, get some practice. Enjoy!
Just briefly:
A woman wants a strong, confident man who can lead her and who she can rely on. Yes, a woman wants more than that but that’s the basic starting point.
I wrote a previous post on building confidence (which was welcomed by the man who asked) and I wrote a previous post on how to approach any woman (also received some positive feedback). So, you could have a look at those and think about it whether this could be utilised in your toolkit.
There’s three things to work on – first, your physical presence and frame (you are in the gym so if you are lifting heavy weights, doing some cardio, eating nutritious food, and getting plenty of sleep then that should help you build some confidence). Second is your personality and mental mindset. Third, your attraction and dating skills.
At least you can see where you need to focus so that you can improve. These things are not built in a day or a week. A man must keep grinding away. If you build your confidence now in your 20’s then it will make your life easier in your 30’s and 40’s – so think of doing the work as an investment in yourself. Go well.
Less talk. More action.
Go humiliate yourself IMMEDIATELY.