I only like sex in theory, I’m my head if you will. And I’m usually excited by the thought and before with the foreplay and then when I get penetrated o like that pressure when a guy slides it in. After that I don’t like it.
I always run dry, I hate it and I only do it cause I feel like I have to cause we’ve already gotten so far by agreeing so I just let the guy finish but my heart is never in it.
I thought when I’m in a relationship it would be better cause of emotion but the feeling is just the same.
Is that normal?
8 comments
Are you taking any birth control?? Do you have a hormonal imbalance maybe?? My wife libido has been low for the last two months due to birth control. We have periods where she gets really horny then nothing for months, which sucks, but i know that the BC she takes f’ups with her libido. 90% of the times she has low sex drive its due to her taking BC, unfortunately she also suffers from endometriosis, so the other 10% of her sex drive being low its die to painful intercourse. Try going to a Gynecologist and telling them about your sex drive.
Sex is different for everyone and you need to find out what works for you. Also, sex is much more than penetration. Perhaps, you need more foreplay? Or framing to get in the mood? I hope you find something that works well for you and your partner.
Do you have the same struggle with toys? If so, it’s worth going to a doctor to make sure it’s not a hormonal or medical issue.
If you don’t struggle with toys, maybe you’re just not into guys like you think you are? Have you tried with another woman?
Is continuing penetration after you feel dry painful? Do you expect it to be painful?
I suspect plenty of people enjoy other sex activities much more than being penetrated. I recommend not pushing yourself to continue until your partner finishes. I had a lot of painful sex for years: I have provoked vestibulodynia- meaning that the tissue around my vaginal opening hurts on touch. My vaginal muscles would tighten in anticipation of the pain (vaginismus), and eventually my muscles were so tight that penetration was impossible. It’s taking me a long time to recover. I don’t think everyone who endures (the bad kind of) painful sex will have the same experiences as I have, but surely painful sex is terrible enough without longer term consequences.
Get a medical opinion.
Being anxious about it can make you tense up and run dry, so trying to force yourself through it is doing the opposite of helping.
Do not ever do anything in sex that is hurting you just to please your partner, and without telling them. How would you feel if you found out that something that you do during sex makes your partner hurt? Would you still enjoy that act?
Having a steady relationship can be the perfect chance to work through things, but not by forcing it.
Try more lube, or silicone based lube (it is more slippery and doesn’t get absorbed into your body like water based does, but make sure you aren’t mixing it with silicone condoms or toys).
Try more, much more foreplay.
Instead of PIV (penis in vagina) try just being penetrated by a finger or more, do that several times. It isn’t so much about stretching your vagina, as getting some positive associations with penetration. Try toys.
Try kegels
Try other kinds of sex, handjobs, blowjobs, intercrural sex.
Try talking about it with you ob/gyn on your next visit, there are some physical conditions that can make being penetrated harder.
But also, some people just don’t like being penetrated and that’s it. There are things that can be done it if bothers you, but it is not a failing on your part if you don’t
Do you or your partner play with your clit during piv sex? With hands or toys. It makes my experience so much better.
I often feel the same. I love all kind of sexual fantasies in my head, but real sex is usually overwhelming me or doesnt feel good.
And i hate penetration.