(19)M I want to adopt a kid a bit about me. I’m currently a student on scholarship work a part-time job and can provide for myself. I have been thinking about opting for adoption for the last 2-3 years. I’ve never been huge on the party scene. I don’t drink and travel as much and am hoping to adopt a child in the next 3-4 years after i gain a professional job and financial stability. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and she doesn’t feel about it as strongly as I do and I dont think she’s ready to have kids yet i plan on raising the kid by myself with the support of my family.
Any advice or suggestions would be great
4 comments
As a single father during the 80s-90s it was hard. When other kids asked mine where his Mom was, he would say she died. So he wouldn’t have to answer more questions. As he grew it was hard to get to his sports events because of my job. Lucky for me I had great friends who would cover for me. ( I had to work 2 jobs) In the end it was a great ride in life. We are very close, he did well in life and I’m close to retirement.
My biggest problems were: I had little family support. They are jerks and really wouldn’t help. I got no financial aid from anybody. That’s why I had 2 jobs. Government doesn’t help men out w/kids.
This sounds like one of those “patchwork family” situations and growing up in one of these myself I can’t recommended at all from the child’s perspective. Especially since your partner is not on board with it and you haven’t mentioned the strength of motivation for your family.
And lastly, 23 is too young to adopt in my opinion for the complexity that comes from the already attached past (and possible issues) of that child. I get where you are coming from and I applaud your benevolence but I’d suggest voluntarily helping out in an orphanage for now and going for adoption when either your partner is on board or you at least have settled in a bit more in your career and adulthood in general.
i’m a single dad who adopted two kids from foster care and i couldn’t be happier. it’s been a challenging journey, but it’s been so rewarding to watch my kids grow and thrive. i wouldn’t trade it for anything!
You and you’re girlfriend need to be on the same page. THIS IS ESSENTIAL
It will not work if you both don’t want to adopt. Children are massive life changing commitments and it will significantly affect your relationship, it doesn’t matter if you class yourself as a single parent, it WILL affect your relationship, period. And the last thing an adopted child needs is to feel resented or like their mum/dad’s girlfriend doesn’t want then around.
You need to get that sorted before you adopt.
However, I think it’s amazing you want to adopt! I would li,e to adopt or foster bur I want to wait until I’m more secure.