I’ve been dating a wonderful girl for a month or so. The sex has been great! Best I’ve ever had. However, she wants me to be rougher in bed. Im a bit worried since I don’t want to hurt her. Im 6 ft and workout every day so im pretty strong, and she’s a small 5’2 adorable bean. Im worried i might accidentally hurt her. Does anyone have some advice as to how i Can proceed?
7 comments
Do what she asks. If she couldn’t handle it she wouldn’t ask for it. Make sure she tells you if it’s too much but otherwise? Do it
Throw her around a bit. Put your hand around her throat. Smack her 🍑 a bit harder. Pull on her hair during doggy. Just make sure she likes it.
You do not need to do painful scary things- be creative with your strength- look INTO the proper way to pull hair, choke, smack, hold her hips and pick her up. Take more control while guiding her.
Don’t do it, if you’re uncomfortable. Just tell her no. Imo I’d avoid rough sex altogether, too easy for it to go south or for her to get hurt and then Blame you.
1. Talk more about it. How does she want you to be rougher? Does she want to be actually to be slapped, or is she looking for a feeling of being controlled? Does she like having her hair pulled or is she looking to be spanked? Is rougher just being manhandled? There’s a lot of options there that you two should discuss before you start going down this path.
1. Even if she’s dainty she’s probably more durable than you’re giving her credit for. Unless you’re actually swinging at her or using restraints incorrectly it *generally* is unlikely for permanent damage to occur. The one big exception I’ll not for this is choking which seems really common/popular based on how frequently it shows up in comments but IMO has incredibly high risk even if you know what you’re doing.
3. For a practical example to be more forceful in bed with minimal changes I’d try out no longer asking her to change positions but grab her and move her there. Tell her what you’re going to do rather than asking what you’d like to do next.
Communicate about what is expected. It may take a few sessions to get a feel for what she wants and for you to feel comfortable doing the things she wants.
Don’t treat her in bed as an adorable bean, but as a sexy girl that wants some domination. More verbal dirty talk and pin down her hands and thrust harder.