Hi everyone! I’m going to my first UK wedding this year! I’m originally British but I don’t currently live in the UK and haven’t done for a while, so I’ll be travelling back to attend.
My question is regarding the “honeymoon contribution” thing. I am familiar with this and think it’s a better idea than getting presents, but I’ve realised I don’t know how to go about it in practice.
I’ve heard of people asking for Thomas Cook vouchers or something in the past, but this invitation doesn’t give any other info.
So my questions are:
Do I just give them an envelope of cash?
And how much would be a normal amount to give?
Thank you!
Edit: also, what kind of envelopes? Do people use decorative envelopes or just plain ones? Where I live now has special envelopes for giving money.
24 comments
Envelope of cash is fine. For friends £20-50 is probably about right, depending on how close you are. More if you want, of course
Have they set up an online gift registry? We did that, as did most of our friends, as a way for people to give money for the honeymoon.
If not, money in an envelope is perfectly acceptable. If you know where they’re going, you could get the currency of that place, that’s often a nice gesture.
As for amount, that really depends on you and how close you are with the couple. There’s no correct amount. I’ve done everything from 20 quid to over a hundred.
If you are invited for the whole day I tend to try cover the cost of my meal so £100, I’d do 50-20 for an evening invite xx
Envelope of cash is perfect, I am due to be married and we are going to ask for the contribution instead. I’d say if you’re going for the whole day, ceremony and the party, do about 50-100 quid if that’s affordable. If they are really good friends you might want to do more but it’s not a big deal if you don’t. I gave my best friend £150 when I was bridesmaid, would have done more but I had to get my dress too.
A friend of mine did something similar, but asked for John Lewis vouchers. The vouchers were in their respective envelopes and put into a box at the reception. I gave £40.00 at the time as was not working due to illness. The then couple were still greatful and used it towards buying baby items (the bride was 6 months pregnant at the time).
£50-100 if you’re there for the full day I’d say.
If you know where the honeymoon is you could get them foreign currency for their honeymoon destination.
Recently had a whip round for two of our closest friends who decided they just want to go to the registry office and get married with 2 witnesses and not have a big day. People have been £50-£100. My rule of thumb for this was please give anything you can afford and don’t feel in any way compelled to give anything as the card will be signed from everyone regardless as they’re not expecting anything and I’ll be the only person that knows what anyone gives so there’s no incentive to overdo it or try to compete when you don’t need to.
We’re going to another wedding to and they’ve asked for cash for their honeymoon so we’ll aim for anywhere in this bracket.
I went to a wedding where they did this, un fortunately just attending coat me £500 and I couldn’t afford to contribute
£100 cheque in a card.
£50 if they didn’t feed you.
Give them a cheque
The numbers in this thread sound about right. As a ballpark, I’d go with whatever you would have spent on a gift.
Giving money (in physical form) is one of the very few times a cheque has an advantage, if you have any.
We asked for no gifts as we are getting married abroad but did put a link to a charity of our choice if people did want to give extra.
I usually do £50 for evening and £100 for whole day.
I got married last year and asked for this.
Most couples gave about £50. Close family more like £100. Pretty much all in cash in envelopes along with the ‘congrats’ cards.
I tend to give £50 each for the bride/groom (so £100 total) – if nothing else, just to cover the cost of me attending the wedding. If there’s an online gift registry, I’d pick an item close to £50 in value for each of them. Or, give a card, with cash. Cheque would be risky, in case there are name changes involved.
I would definitely avoid any specific company gift cards as it will really limit their ability to spend them.
I do £50, most of my friends do similar. Cash in a card is all good
We asked for contributions to honeymoon. Most people either gave us money in the wedding card, or some asked either my parents or my husbands parents for our bank details and transferred us money.
Most people gave £25 per person (so £50 per couple). Quite a few gave £50 per person.
Our wedding was the whole fancy meal, old country mansion type wedding. Think it was £128 per head. So gifts where no-where near enough to cover people’s plate (not that we were expecting that, just a lot of people in the comments are saying they would gift an amount to “cover their plate”).
If the cost of attending isnt too wild (aka standard night away costs), I give £50-100.
I’ve got friends getting married abroad and they’ve said they’re not accepting presents as friends are paying to go to their wedding. Your friend is probably super happy you’re able to attend and will gratefully receive anything. A nice card with some money inside (up to £50 I’d say due to the travel) is more than generous.
My sister in law is getting married. It’s costing us £1k in flights and hotels, and then £200 in dog sitting. They’re expecting £250 as a gift from each couple attending (he’s Irish, apparently this is a thing). They’re now considering what present *we* can get *them* (yeah you read that right).
My husband shut that shit down and said you’ll get what you’re given. She gave us £50 when we got married 8 years ago. She’s expecting a lot more. We’re not giving them cash as they’ve not had to pay for the bulk of their wedding (his dad has put down £20k).
£20-50 in the card is fine. I wish the people commenting about giving £100 came to my wedding! Only got that level from very close family.
The amounts we’ve given before have varied depending on who we are at the wedding. Evening guest £20, day guest £50, wedding party/close family £100. Plus maybe a token gift of some photo frames or something.
My rule with weddings that I always stick to when I’m invited. Distant relative/friend but not in my close inner circle £20 in a card. Close relative but not siblings £50 in a card. Siblings or close inner circle friends £100 in a card and help out with the wedding where I can. Never steered me wrong so far.
Most of our friends and family gave us £50 a couple, which was really nice and I think about the right amount – I give the same if I’m there in the day.
If I’m evening only I give £30ish or what I’ve done a couple of times is bought a fancy champagne that’s boxed.
I’m really not a fan of the “fund our honeymoon please” thing. I cannot give you a logical reason why, don’t come for me. It’s just an emotional knee-jerk of why should I pay for your holiday?
If you are on board, cash Is probably fine. My mum always decorated envelopes herself. I would just go for any old envelope I can get hold of, or just hand them some cash in the evening/before hand.
A lot of couples now set up a gofundme type dealio online. You could ask if they have a preferred method.
£5 WH Smiths voucher is the most British response.