I (19F) have been going on dates with 22M. And, it’s great when we meet up, and he’s super attentive and present. We are going to have our sixth date soon, and he initiates all of them. Don’t worry, I do initiate text conversations instead. For the past couple of days, he takes almost a day to respond to texts. But, I see that he’s online on instagram. It just bothers me that he’s active on social media but forgets/ignores my texts. He did mention since the first date about how much he doesn’t like texting. Maybe I’m just overthinking it or just insecure, I wish he would reply in max 5 hours. Is that too much? And, did he maybe loose interest?
3 comments
Video call instead of texting
If you have a need for more consistent communication, that’s nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn’t make you insecure. Just because he seemingly doesn’t have that same need doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
That said, maybe communicating this with him would be beneficial. After all, if you want to keep seeing him, this is something that will likely continue to bother you and will eventually need to be addressed.
“When I don’t hear back from you after nearly a day, I feel anxious because I need to have consistent communication to feel connected to whoever I’m getting to know. I prefer to receive a reply within a couple hours, because it keeps the flow going and the connection present. I would love it if I could hear back from you more than once a day so I can get to know you better.”
That’s just an example and you can adjust things, but I think raising awareness to issues that bother us is vital for any successful relationship.
Good luck!
On top of being a dry texter, maybe he’s also busy? We don’t know a lot of details but if he’s going to school or work, he might just be really focused. Or his hobbies could have him distracted, like if he’s a gamer maybe he left Instagram open and forgot about it while he’s playing. There’s a lot of possibilities to why he doesn’t respond but the only way to find out is to talk about it and explain how communication is important to you. If he’s really invested in person, you can pretty much guarantee that he’s still interested.