Had a friend flake on a birthday trip after everything had already been planned and finalized for a month. She then proceeded to give a poor excuse and say “I hope you understand and are not too upset”. Her excuse was that she has other birthdays to go to and wont have money for mine after all of it.
Personally, I feel offended that she’s telling me how to feel when she just screwed up my plans. But I tend to overthink these things so please don’t attack me.
How do you feel about people telling you not to be upset after giving you upsetting news?
2 comments
In my mind, a good apology doesn’t try to gain sympathy from the person wronged. Saying “I hope you’re not too upset” might be true, but ultimately not helpful towards reconciliation and only to make the wrongdoer feel better.
That being said, good apologies can be hard and most people are bad at them. How they behave going forward and if they feel the need to make it up is probably the best indicator for how sorry they actually are.
I would be pissed lol. And then say that I am very upset and then proceed to explain why it hurt me